Subscribe to download
PARANOIA: a card game

The Computer wants you to be happy. If you are not happy, you may be used as reactor shielding.

The Computer is crazy. The Computer is happy. The Computer will help you to become happy. This will drive you crazy.

Being a citizen of Alpha Complex is fun. The Computer says so, and The Computer is your friend.

Rooting out evil traitors will make you happy. The Computer tells you so. Can you doubt The Computer?

Being a Troubleshooter is fun. The Computer tells you so. Of course, The Computer is right.

Troubleshooters get shot at, stabbed, incinerated, stapled, mangled, poisoned, blown to bits, and occasionally accidentally executed. This is so much fun that many Troubleshooters go crazy. You will be working with many Troubleshooters. All of them carry lasers.

Aren't you glad you carry a laser too? Won't this be fun?

There are many traitors in Alpha Complex. There are many happy citizens in Alpha Complex. Most of the happy citizens are crazy. It is hard to say which are more dangerous – traitors or happy citizens. Watch out for both of them.

STAY ALERT! TRUST NO ONE! KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY!

This is a fanmade card game that pays tribute to the glorious 2nd edition of the PARANOIA role-playing game. 4 or more players are recommended - the game can be played with fewer people, but it won't really be much fun. If you've played PARANOIA before, I hope you'll enjoy what I did here. If you are new to PARANOIA, I'm not sure this will be the best introduction... but it might give you a feel for the themes and tropes that are essential to a good play experience.