Rainbow Six Siege Duos!

For when comes a time when you and your friend no longer wish to remain within the confines of Rainbow Six Siege society. For when you just want to go all out and play recklessly. Hopefully that didn't sound too fancy for you uncultured gamers, but whatever. Here's a short little comedy guide featuring Rainbow Six Siege duos.

Welcome to this guide!

Obviously this guide is a joke, but I genuinely hope that it provides those who duo queue a lot more variety when playing! This is meant for casual! Don't do this in competitive! So, to get you guys started, here is a picture of Doc shooting IQ in the butt with a tranquilizer.

What is Doc gonna do with the unconscious IQ now..?

The Rushing Russians!

How could we not start off with the most beautiful men in all of Rainbow Six Siege? The Russians are hilarious! The strategy for this duo is simple. You either go Kapkan and Tachanka or Fuze and Glaz and you rush. Just rush around the map. I've made a simpler format for you guys below for those too lazy to read a paragraph.

• Go either Kapkan and Tachanka or Fuze and Glaz.
  
• You must never stop sprinting unless you are going to open fire.
  
• You are not allowed to crouch or prone. It's no longer Rushing Russians if you turtle.
  
• If you're playing Fuze, you're not allowed to carry your shield.
  
• You must stick by your fellow Rushing Russian as Rushing Russians always stick together!
  
• You must proclaim Rushing Russians superiority every single time!

Kapkan is not pictured here because he was prematurely killed using the Rushing Russians strategy.

The Ballsy British!

So, we all know that most British people are ballsy. I mean, they allow cursing in their television so you know they got the biggest balls of all! You either go Mute and Smoke or Sledge and Thatcher. I would recommend using shotguns only as the British shotguns are the ballsiest shotguns in the game. In this duo strategy, you must go in always without fear! For those who are too lazy to read paragraphs, I've made a short list for you.

• Go Mute and Smoke or Sledge and Thatcher.
  
• You gotta have balls! Get in there!
  
• I recommend the shotguns if you are have real balls.
  
• You must keep moving at all times. Make as much sound as possible! Fear nothing!
  
• The moment you express hesitation or fear is the moment you have failed this strategy.
  
• Stick together! Ballsy Brits unite!
  
• Make sure to express how righteous the Ballsy British are!

The ultimate crew. The right tools for the job.

The Flamboyent Frenchies!

The French are always known for their avant garde personalities! I've pretty much included everything French in to this epic duo strategy. You go either Doc and Rook or Montagne and Twitch. This is the most tanky strategy ever. You are basically turtles. You are not allowed to sprint. You are not allowed to walk. You must crouch or prone, for you are turtles. You are essentially the last line of defense! Take pride in being essentially an army of two as you use these amazing operators. I've made a list for those too lazy to read this paragraph down below.

• You either go Doc and Rook or Montagne and Twitch.
  
• You are turtles! Crouching and proning only! No walking! No sprinting! Non of that!
  
• Only Montagne is allowed to stand up because he has to extend his shield.
  
• You literally gotta stick together on this one. Doc and Rook turtles near objective. Montagne and Twitch walk together.
  
• You gotta proclaim the superiority of the Flamboyent Frenchies. Literally. Scream it at the top of your lungs!

What have I done to them..

The Abusive Americans!

Ahh. America. Where the first solution to every problem is put a dozen bullets in to it. Beautiful country, no? For this epic duo strategy, you either go Castle and Pulse or Ash and Thermite. Now since you're Americans, you'll have no forethought when it comes to defending or attacking the objective. So, just go crazy. Throw logic out the window. Thermite some random wall. Blow up random crap like they do in the American movies. Just don't complain to me when you get kicked for doing this.

• Shoot at everything! You see a camera? SHOOT IT! You see a person? SHOOT IT!
  
• Keep shooting at everything! You see an enemy? SHOOT IT! You see a cute animal? SHOOT IT!
  
• Just because you don't take the last two points seriously. SHOOT EVERYTHING! JUST NOT THE HOSTAGE OR YOUR TEAMMATE!
  
• Be really crazy. Just run in there and start shooting. There is no logic in your mind at this point.
  
• You either go Castle and Pulse or Ash and Thermite. No exceptions!
  
• This is the only duo strategy that does not require you to be together, but it's more fun when you are.
  
• Make sure to scream in to your mic about your superiority to every other country.

Watch as our faith in humanity slowly dies.

The Gangly Germans!

On to the next duo strategy! Yes.. The Gangly Germans! They're tall! They're thin! They're awkward! This is the most important strategy of all. You either go Bandit and Jager or Blitz and IQ. You gotta rush. Just endless rushing. If you're defending, you use the German shotguns and if you're attacking, you get Blitz to put his shield on his back and you rush. There is no stopping the Gangly German train of death.

• You either go Bandit and Jager or Blitz and IQ.
  
• If you're defending, use the German shotguns.
  
• If you're attacking, get Blitz to put his shield on his back.
  
• There is no stopping. Speed is your friend here. Sprint around the map and kill everyone..
  
• If you hear footsteps, rush towards it.
  
• Stick together, alright? Nothing was ever done alone. except for those things that were done alone.
  
• You must tilt walk at all times.
  
• Make sure to sing the Gangly Germans' praise using your mic!

Googly eyes! Googly eyes! Awesome.

The Breach Blockers

Get ♥♥♥♥ blocked! Woo! Wait, wait, nevermind. Breach blocked? I don't know anymore. You know what pisses me off? When the enemy team has a Mute and a Bandit and we got no Thatcher. Most annoying thing ever. This is for those people who wanna be the most annoying thing ever.

• Go Mute and Bandit. Easy peasy.
  
• Mute or bandit battery everything that can be breached! You must not let them into your objective room!
  
• This duo is all about metaphors. Mute and Bandit are basically condoms and the objective room is the holy heaven vagina.
  
• See, condoms make it not feel as good. So, yeah.
  
• The reason we got two condoms is because with two condoms, you feel barely anything!
  
• Also make sure to equip shotguns for short range discharges!

Bandit is crying because he's old and crusty.

The Black Baguette

The Black Baguette. Simple combination of burnt bread and terrible smelling smoke. You got the almighty Rook paired up with Kanye Wes.. I mean Castle. This is the turtling duo strategy where you just chill out near the objective. You are turtles. You don't peek. You wait for them to peek and then you kill them. Remember that video where a turtle was eating a tomato? You are the turtle and the enemies are the tomato.

• Pick Castle and Rook.
  
• Turtle. Turtle. Turtle. The Turtles. Defend the objective with your lives!
  
• You're a turtle, so you don't got much bite. Pistols only! PISTOLS ONLY!
  
• You gotta prone! You're turtles afterall!
  
• See, the joke here is that while everyone else is roaming. Castle is bending Rook over and ****ing him in the *** with his giant ****. Mhm.

Honhonhon. I want your baguette up my ***hole.

The Breach Brothers

The Breach Brothers, or B.B for short. This may or may not be the most intense duo strategy ever because it may or may not require you to buy a DLC operator! *GASP!* You'll be fine. You've got two of the best breaching operators in the game. You've gotta destroy every wall you see. Every wall. I mean it. The walls must be stopped, and it is your job to stop them.

• You gotta go Buck and Sledge.
  
• Your goal in the game is to destroy every wall on the map.
  
• You should always strive to kill your enemies with Sledge's hammer or Buck's Skeleton Key.
  
• You're like lumberjacks, make sure to take a shot of maple syrup before playing.
  
• If you didn't take my second point seriously, make sure to destroy every wall you see.
  
• Like, even if you're in danger, you must still try to destroy all the walls.
  
• Gotta sing the Canadian anthem on the mic, so that you can harness the lumberjack power.

Oooh, when did Sledge get such a shapely body? Ooooh~

The Righteous Recruits

In ancient saying from far away Asian country. It say that the most powerful duo comes from the most least obvious ways.. Yeah.. Deep stuff, no? I have unlocked the secrets of the ancient world of Rainbow Six Siege to bring to you this duo.. The Righteous Recruits! You must... Go use the FBI recruits and equip shields.. Shields! Must! There is a must in the usage of shields and FBI. Mhm!

• Go shield recruits. AKA the FBI shield.
  
• You will devour your enemies by sandwiching them!
  
• You are righteous in your ways! Rush in there like you've got the blessing of the Spaghetti Gods!!!
  
• One of you has to put the shield on your back and face backwards. It's a must. You are the righteous living shield for your partner!
  
• Make sure to rub your nipples with spaghetti before doing this strategy or it will backfire!
  
• I will now teach you the mighty spaghetti chant.. "Oh great one of the blessed light! We are but mere meatballs compared to your delicious tomato-ey goodness! Eat us so that we may become one with the spaghetti!"
  
• Gotta chant that crap over the mic over and over again!

Do you see how brave these two men are? They have given up everything for the Spaghetti Gods!

The Femme Fatales!

See, in real life, we don't got any femme fatales. Let's be honest here, when have you ever seen a girl in real life kick ass like the Black Widow? Never! Not unless whoever they're fighting is too nice to hit back. But enough with the talk. I welcome the Femme Fatales! The mighty duo of lightly-armored badass females! They both got awesome guns and somewhat awesome gadgets.... But whatever.

• Ye gotta pick Ash and IQ.
  
• You're fast, so your job is melee everyone. MELEE ONLY!
  
• You're a femme fatale, you don't go meleeing recklessly. You must wait for the perfect moment to strike!
  
• Like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ praying mantis.
  
• If you can, make sure to get the most badass looking headgear for both operators.
  
• Make sure to turn on "Girls just wanna have fun" and listen to that while using this duo!
  
• If it wasn't obvious enough, you gotta play that song on the mic.

IQ has been hitting the steroids extra hard. She fights through the yellow-eyed vomit.

The Epic Essentials

Now we know all about the most essential operaotrs in the game.. But.. But.. BUT NO ONE EVER GOES THEM! That's fine, but I'm sure that this will make your Rainbow Sixing a lot more smoother.. So.. Here ya go.

• You gotta go Thermite and Thatcher. Must!
  
• You must use the shotguns. Prove you are worthy of playing this game by using the now nerfed shotguns.
  
• Make sure to always communicate through sign language through the mic. Very important.
  
• If you are playing in the same room, make sure to hold hands.
  
• At the beginning of each round, one must lay prone on the floor and take a screenshot of the other person's ass.
  
• Don't forget to tilt at all times!
  
• Proclaim the superiority of your duo to everyone who plays.

Ahh.. Like Heaven and Hell..

Thank you!

Thank you, you kind people for reading this guide! The idea came to me whilst I was playing with a friend. We were on Skype and we were just pulling random ideas out. Soon, we just decided to the operators from the same country and thus this guide was born. We will finish this guide as we began it. With a picture of Doc shooting IQ in the butt with a tranquilizer.

This funny picture goes darker and darker once you realize what Doc will do to IQ.

[Yang (楊里霖)]

Except Rick and Morty had that huge delay for season three.

[Yang (楊里霖)]

It's like Rick and Morty. Season two will come in like nine months.

[BEEG GORILLA]

Well i got a new duo for this dead guide, the annoynces. Has twitch and jackal, jackal to reveal their positions; and twitch to shock them to death until they have given up on life.

[Yang (楊里霖)]

I see..

[BEEG GORILLA]

Well it depends it can save your sex life, but no it won't prevent you from dying. Thought when you die it will all be worth it

[Yang (楊里霖)]

Can your prostate exam save lives?

[BEEG GORILLA]

I did a prostate exam on someone, does that count?

[Yang (楊里霖)]

Is anyone here a qualified medical practitioner? We are in need of one so that we can revive this guide.

[Yang (楊里霖)]

Before you take your own life, please give me all of your private information. With your death, you may fund the revival of this guide.

[BEEG GORILLA]

my life is now all a sham... i cant continue living