Sans' Spooky SkelePUN Book

A list of skeleton puns! There's a skele-TON of them!
(Just a little collection of puns. Feel free to add more in the comments! I'll add them to the guide.)

Sans' Spooky Skeleton Pun List

Here's the list! Feel free to post more in the comments! I'll add them to the list!

Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin!


Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.


What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
SPARERIBS



My favorite instrument? the TromBONE, of course.


My brother truly is a numbSKULL


Artist: BATTITUDE {LINK REMOVED}http://bat-attitude.tumblr.com/post/129251822592/undertale-is-rlly-good

What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.


But first, let me take a Skelfie


Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts



When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!


In the end, Asgore made Papyrus a cool Hedge Skull-ture


Papyrus doesn't like my hotdogs. probally because he doesn't have the stomach for it!



Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!


How did I know where you would go next?
Oh I felt it in my bones!


What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.


These aren't all of them. I've got a skeleTON more!



Papyrus stood by the fire for too long.
Now he's BONE-dry!
What a bonehead....


I'm not fat. I'm just big boned!


I'm so lazy, I'm bone idle!


What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-Appetit!


Artist: Mystery Ben {LINK REMOVED}http://mysterybensmysteryblog.tumblr.com/post/130795385908/after-getting-flooded-in-notes-mystery-ben

That annoying dog came back and stole more of our bones.
He even ran off with Papyrus' left leg!
You could say he didn't leave him with a leg to stand on!


What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!


Have you seen my brother?
I have a BONE to pick with him.


Artist: TheMinisculeMakahiya {LINK REMOVED}http://theminisculemakahiya.deviantart.com/art/Getttttttt-Dunked-560963474

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!


My brother always works himself down to the bone!


Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely


Artist: SANSational {LINK REMOVED}http://koishu.tumblr.com/image/130584813505

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!


What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road?
Jump out of your skin and join him!


Papyrus' date didn't go well, did it? Yeah, He only loves every bone in your body....


Everytime I hear a skeleton joke I feel it in my bones


Skulls are always single because they have no body


Man, these jokes aren't even that humerus.


These jokes are very bare bones


"Oh hey, you know that Papyrus once had a dream about his car bed. You could say it was a very AUTO-BODY Experience." -Captian Muffet


My brother rides a motercycle now! he's bad to the BONE. -HEHEHE HAHAHA (Flowey)

Why do skeletons makes bad miners?
Because they only go 6 FOOT UNDER GROUND -Yssagiel


Artist: 샌K|[] https://twitter.com/RuKIdmau5

Why does skeletons never go to swimming pools?
Because they hate being SOAKED TO THE BONE -Yssagiel


you wanna know why skeletons are terrible liars?
Everyone can see right through them! -Napstablook22


Whats Papyrus's favorite music video? Spooky Scary Skeletons! -HEHEHE HAHAHA (Flowey)


Did ya hear the one about the baby skeleton? He liked to rattle his bones. -Fantomesrouges


A dog stole a skeleton's left leg and left arm the other day.
but it's cool he's ALL RIGHT now! -Napstablook22


what d'ye call a monkey with no skin? a babBONE! -MÂИǤĿЄ


I don't know if I should put a little more BACKBONE into these jokes, but then again it is TIBIA expected that I'll get lazy and not try as hard to make a skele-TON of them... Dang... I'm such a BONEHEAD. -Napstablook22


I asked my brother the instrument one and he replied 'Bonegos' -I promise I vill heal you


The dancing Sans seem to really be in skele-tune with the music -I promise I vill heal you


what happens with a skeleton on e621?
He gets a boner! -Dog

"Hey! This is a kid friendly guide!"


what do you call a lonely skeleton?
A boner. -Zurgie

"Wait. is that kid friendly?"
.................


What did Papyrus give to his date on Valentines' Day?
Bone-bones in a heart-shaped box! -{SP🎃🎃K} PUMPKINS_™


Where do skeletons play music? At Cartilage Hall! -Lissahearn


Papyrus tried making a tight hallway puzzle out of bones. It was rather marrow. -Luke Wilson


i'm spooked to the bone! -W. D. Gaster


That sent chills down my SPINE.. -Alphanutterjug



What did the skeleton say when an army invaded his country?
We're boned! -{SP🎃🎃K} PUMPKINS_™


What band do skeletons like listening to? Boney M! -{SP🎃🎃K} PUMPKINS_™


What do you call a skeleton who presses the door bell? A dead ringer -Ichiren


Why did Sans put Papyrus in a bow? Cause he was full of Marrow -Ichiren


What did Papyrus' friend say when he couldn't stop lying?
"Stop telling fibias!" -{SP🎃🎃K} PUMPKINS_™


Why couldn't Papyrus tell the human his true feelings?
He didn't have the heart to tell them. -Napstablook22


Whats a skeletons favorite weapon? A bow and MARROW! -HEHEHE HAHAHA (Flowey)


What is Papyrus's least favorite type of chicken? Boneless! -HEHEHE HAHAHA (Flowey)


These jokes are pretty humerus, but can we get a fe-mur? --oBLIPatory skeleton joke-


It is actually pretty hard to phalange these terms into a functional pun.
Nothing is sacrum'd. -Lissahearn


What do skeletons put under their hotdogs? a Skele-Bun. -The Mailman


So many unhealthy skeleton puns, in about a weeks time I'll thin-calcium all!
-THEREALSPARTAN9001

well then, i'm gonna go get a pa-PIE-rus because it's going to get burned from all of these skele-puns -W. D. Gaster

Sans' Spooky Skeleton Pun List 2

This is the second section. The first ran out of space.


why did the ghost took the elevator? to lift his SPIRIT up -Master of Memes


what did the ill skeleton say? I'm going TIBIA ok -Master of Memes



Artist: Krakenfinsoup
{LINK REMOVED}http://krakenfinsoup.tumblr.com/post/129432694135/a-doodle-of-sans-from-undertale




Poor Papyrus, he lacks the SPINE to actually ask anyone out. -Anonyspookboonanas


What do you call a bloody skeleton? a Lieech! -✣Bloodofthewolf629✣


the skeleton was sick i guess you could say he was sick to the BONE -✣Bloodofthewolf629✣


What is a skeleton's favorite music band? BONE JOVI! -Clubby McWank fist


Who was the most famous skeleton detective? Sherlock BONES! -Peep


"You ain't nothing but a hound dog's bone." ~Pelvis Presley -Anonyspookboonanas


"You could say that Sans was a very BONEY joke teller" ~Gladiator Of Realms


what do skeletons say when there in danger? "WE'RE BONED!" -HEHEHE HAHAHA (Flowey)


what do you call a plate of spaghetti made by a skeleton?
A CREEPYPASTA -Master of Memes



Artist: Praise the Seagull
{LINK REMOVED}http://devil-kcalb.tumblr.com/post/131994072607/pearlzhang-someone-made-a-rly-awful-midi-ver-of



How do French skeletons greet each other?
BONE-jour!


In West Skeladelphia, bone and raised! -The Fresh Prince of Skel-Air -Your Worst Nightmare


Oh my, there are so many RIB TICKLERS here! -Reverse



What happens to skeleton who loses his job? He becomes Boneless -Ichiren


How do you make a skeleton uncomfortable? By crossing his BONEdries -(Comic) Sans


how do you call a succesful skeleton?
a BONEfied Professional -Master of Memes


Why are skeletons bad at math?
They don't have brains! -METTATON


I'm not much for puns, I just don't find them... HUMERUS!
Come on, I know I wasn't all that original, but it was funny wasn't it? Come on... THROW ME A BONE! -Neonchivalry



What made Michelangelo's skeleton famous? His SKULLtures -(Comic) Sans


This death by chocolate pudding recipe calls for milk, cocoa powder, chocolate pieces, sugar, and marrowroot powder. -Lissahearn


undertale, more like PUNdertale -Asgore


Why is Undertale a good game? Because its a bonified experiance -Ichiren



Artist: Aer0Hail {LINK REMOVED}http://putt125.deviantart.com/art/FA-Sans-565947785


This cell BONE has bad reception. -Steven Gielberg


The quality of these puns is a BONEAFIDE disaster! -Mythril Pebble of Pig Smiting


What kind of fever dream does a skeleton get? A femur dream -Papyrus



These jokes are nonSANSical -Zanman


What do skeletons call their homies?
vertebruhs.
because they always have their backs. -R:Robo/tavia/Memory.exe


What's a skeletons favorite candy? A sugar skull -Coolskeleton95


Where do skeletons go to the bathroom? The porcelain bone! -Coolskeleton95


This tickled my funny bone -Burning in Hell


What happened to Papyrus in the genocide run? He PASTA'Daway -Roy Shyru


Artist: NeonStreakNS {LINK REMOVED}http://neonstreaksns.deviantart.com/art/Sans-Undertale-567323558

Right, here's a skeleTON of puns that are sure to RATTLE YOUR BONES. Let me tell ya, I felt like I had a FEMUR dream working on these. Worked right to the CARPALS, and that isn't a FIBULA. What? You don't think these puns are HUMERUS? Come on, GROW A SPINE. Nah, don't worry, I'm just RIBBING, don't give me that STERNUM look. -CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE


Why does skeleton like saying puns?
Because they're touching to BONES -Thanarax

Jeez papyrus no need to get mad, just smile and stop SKULLking -Ichiren


puns puns everywhere they're so SANSational :) -Asriel Dreemurr



I feel like my friend is a bit MARROW-minded -Drakéon


What Sans do on his work station ? He works down to the bone ... jk , he's a lazybones , he's not working anyway .. -Foxy Crystal


These jokes belong in the skelebin -San(s) of a beach


What did the doctor say to the skeleton who couldn't feel his head?
"Sir, I think you may be a numbskull." -♦ {H.Q.} ♦ Ivy


It seems like there's a real shin-dig going on here, so I hope you aren't bone-idle enough to put this humerus pun in. -JamesIzanagi


Tibia honest, these jokes keep tickling my funny bone, like some kind of femur dream -Frisk


How does a skeleton enter his house? With a Skeleton key....boy my puns sure are tearable aren't they *rips red heart* -Ichiren


What's a skeleton's favorite exotic animal? A RING-TAILED FEMUR -CosmicMemer


{LINK REMOVED}http://knockpainter.deviantart.com/art/Sans-tells-you-bony-sh-t-Undertale-569864227


This is going tibia funny pun. -What


Don't worry. I'm sure our food will get deLIVERed. -Draké Frostfire


Papyrus doesn't like scary movies. chills go down his SPINE -Dinobam100


This guide is second to pun. It's pretty hip, if ya know what I mean.
I know, my puns are pretty bare-bones but I like to think I've weeded out the bad ones, just because they were too spine-less. -Flowey


Whats a skeletons favorite yogurt? actibia -Osa the Dog


You know this list of puns is just sansational, the amount of laughs i've had is toriel, i would stop but i couldn't asgore it, im asriel as they come! -Ichiren


Why was the skeleton so STERNUM with people?
He had such a de-MANDIBLE personality! -Frisk


skeleton jokes arent very clavicle -YaDunGoofy


what did Sans say when he saw Mettaton in the surface? "I bet hes METTATON of girls,he must be a SANSation!" -Epicmander ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Hey man chill out, i know im up in your grillby's,
but i dont wanna put you undertale any pressure -Ichiren


these puns are very punny -The Retriever army

Sans' Spooky Skeleton Pun List 3

WOW! I actually had to make a third list. Didn't really expect this.

What type of art do skeletons like? SKULL-TURES. -Sans the Funny Skeleton


Do you not have the GUTS to stand my puns? -Sans the Punmaster


A Skeleton went to the doctor's office to get a checkup, he had a nasty cough, "whats wrong with me doctor" "your coming down with a bad case of BONEchitis" "i also have a bad pain in my throat doctor" "hers some ibuBONEfen to fix that right up" -Ichiren


Have a merry craniumas! -Frank the Fedora


What does a funky skeleton play? A saxo-BONE. -Frank the Fedora


What's the "king's" real name? PELVIS Presley -Frank the Fedora


What is the best band in the underground? FEMUR and Dreemurr -Frank the Fedora



Artist:Frank the Fedora http://steamcommunity.com/id/Frank_The_Fedora/images/



Who was the most famous skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones. -Frank the Fedora


How do skeletons call their friends? On the telebone -Frank the Fedora


What do skeletons yell at parties? HIP HIP Hooray! -Frank the Fedora


These puns are getting to be a real pain in the FOOT.
Was that a pun?sorry, I think I BONED myself with that -Epicmander ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)



I heard the skeleton pioneers had a really tough time crossing the organ trail. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) -SCP-079


What did the Skeleton say about his Watch?
"I've got too much time on my hands!" -Nekojinx


I'd hate to be MARROW but this joke book can get even more HUMERUS, if you'd use some BACKBONE. I mean, it's HIP and all, but being STERNUM isn't quite my thing... So I might just FIBULA about having a FEMUR as an excuse to dash... See ya toMARROW! -Sans



Artist: Napstablook22 (Briana Recod) http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198121304060/images/




Who's the greatest adventure? Indiana BONES -Frank the Fedora


Who's the smallest yet most powerful skeleton in history?
SANS? A fair guess, but that's not true...
Napoleon BONEapart -Frank the Fedora


What does a skeleton toddler play? A xylo-BONE -Frank the Fedora


What does a skeleton use to listen to music? A pair of earBONES -Frank the Fedora


What does a comedy skeleton (like sans) use to speak? A microBONE -Frank the Fedora


Sometimes, you should probably quit working down to your bones and become a rather more sansational person -DjVandemon


Some people simply lack common Sans -DJVandemon


No more sansless puns from me... Otherwise, I'll come up with a skeleTON of jokes, that show my non sansicle personality, which sometimes becomes rather more Sansless, if you know what I mean, don't you, Sans?
((God.. Autocorrect does make non-sansicle corrections. xD) -DjVandemon


What's your favorite comic, sans? -Frank the Fedora


What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A BONEzai tree -Frank the Fedora


Rattle Bones, Rattle Bones, rattle all the way! Oh, what fun is to ride, in a bonely horse sleigh, hey! -DjVandemon



Artist: Frank the Fedora http://steamcommunity.com/id/Frank_The_Fedora/images/
Model, textures and rig by Shatterstag


How do skeletons learn how babies are made? The bones and the bees -Sans-ta Claus


Skeletons have a tendon-cy to get angry. -Miles Edgeworth (ob9410)


If you want to catch up you're gonna need to go gaster than that -Flowey the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


What did the skeleton tell his son? Never patella lie. -[][☪☟ ☝✌☔☸☜☀][]


ugh all these puns are giveing me a headache i need a ibeBONEfen -Asriel Dreemurr


Why did Sans go to grillby's by himself?
Because he had NO BODY to go with him -Frank the Fedora


What does Papyrus do when trolls besieges his online persona?
He'll have to pick a BONE with them. -✹ᗷᗪT✹Ｐrof. Ｒenderer


It's really getting PASTA bedtime -The Ghost of Pasta's Past


Why are gaveyards so loud? Because of all the coffin -Frank the Fedora


If sans had a cloning machine, what would he need? Two Toriels -Frank the Fedora



What Does A Skeleton Eat? Baby Back RIBS -PurpleBunnyz


Don't mind Sans' horrible jokes. He's a heartless comedian. -Csiko


I went to the grocery store the other say. But when I didn't have enough money, the cashier gave me a sternum look and said, "how much of a bonehead do you think I am?" taking the groceries I couldn't afford. I gave her the ribeye and left. Guess I'll just have to cook a barebones dinner tonight. -W.D. GASTER


Why is Sans so hard to hit? He just doesn't get the point. -Csiko


Why is Sans a fast ketchup drinker? Because he always has to SKULL. -ǂDreaming Moorǂ


What does a skeleton call a maths test? Utter nonsans. -JW023


Why does a skeleton never get hungry?
They dont have STOMACHS! -Sans' pun-book by Shpee


what do you call me with two pieces of bread on my cheeks?
*puts on a witches hat* A SANS WITCH! -Sans The Bad Time Giver


If annoying dog wears a red cape, what do you call it? Puppyrus -Frank the Fedora


What magazines does a Skeleton read? The Rolling Bones -SuToast670


These HUMERUS puns are TOMB much -Kise Ryōta


Who's the best skeleton wrestler? Bone Cold -Frank the Fedora


How did the skeleton get to work? He had to carpal! -✿ Toriel


What did the wise men give baby Jesus to celebrate his birth?
Gold, myrrh and frankinSANS. -Deceive's Toasty Buns


Don't play Genocide, or else Sans will come at you full force with his
arthRIGHTEOUS wrath. -JapaneseMangos97



Papyrus' cooking isn't as great as he thinks but Sans never has the stomach to tell -☆ミVoxel☁


What's a skeleton's favorite light-source? A SHINdelier. -Agent Asian


Why don't you see skeleton's out side often? They're always sick with a FEMUR. -Agent Asian



Artist: Frank the Fedora


What does a skeleton do during a fire?
Stop, Drop, and SKULL. -Agent Asian


What's inside a kind skeleton?
A heart of solid SKULLd. (gold) -Agent Asian


Why are skeletons weak?
They have no muscles. -Agent Asian


Why did the skeleton quit band class?
He couldn't achieve good in-BONEation. -Agent Asian


What does a sailor skeleton say when he wants his ship to stop?
Lay ANKLE. -Agent Asian


I ulna want tibia with you -Deceive's Toasty Buns

Sans' Spooky Skeleton Pun list 4

Wow. A 4th one. Guess they really are humerus


Who's every skeletons favorite movie actor? James BONE -BlaxZtar


The story goes that Papyrus finally became a BONE-afide Royal Guard. -JapaneseMangos97


you want privacy? ok, i'll leave you abone -Frank the Fedora


Why did the skeleton throw his hip away?
It was a waist. -TheLittleBiskit

What's a skeleton's favourite spread?
Patella. -TheLittleBiskit



Hey This author put alot of Backbone into this guys -Sans


I can't feel bad, im all out of spare time -Frank the Fedora


I tried to unlock my front door, when I figured out I was missing my KEYBONE -Foster


What do you call a dead skeleton?
A numbskull!
* Note: Skeletons are already dead -Chara


What did Female Skeletons Wear to a ball? a SHIN-dig! -Sally


What did Toriel tell Frisk when they left the ruins?
Bone voyage, my child. -Omori the Cat Caresser



Artist: Dr.Fetus http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=631251083


What's Asriel's favourite Pokemon? A CHARA-zard😋 -SylveonByMoonlight


Wanna hear a bad skeleton joke? Nevermind I don't have the guts! -TyrantRex


How can you tell if a Skeleton is a funny person or not? You can see their humerus. -Hoxton


How does a skeleton make decisions? He uses a magic 8-Bone -Skeleton Sans


You should aim tibia better you. -justawolfperson12


Why doesn't Sans talk about his parents? He had a real MOMster. -Alice Ryu


Let me play little number from my hit SHIN-gle on my Trom-BONE. -n.cooper89

Wow, there are alot of puns here, that's really SANStastic if I do say so myself. -◄ \\|/00|#32 ►


this guide is absolutely pun-derful~<3 -Mochi


Hey man, tibia honest, these aren't half bad. But personally, i prefer using puns in conversation. Some call me punbearable and a bonehead, but darn it, I cant help it. I just like skull-king around and telling humerus puns for all my friends, eve if i get a bit negat-rib response. It all in good pun. -Exiled_Eclipse


Where does spaghetti go to dance? The meatball -The Salty Potato


Sans must not be lazy, because he put a skele-TON of work into
these PUNbearable jokes! -Brenbren6304


i tried to think of a pun but i just don't have the brain for it -mrhightech1117


In the genocide route, Papyrus gave up on japing Frisk because he didn't have the BRAINS for it.
What's Sans' zodiac sign? He's a SCOLIO-sis.
Whats the name of the punny city in California? Sans-Francisco! -Weaboocookie


I'm thirsty... I think I want some PUN-ch -FlutterSuperShy

*Sans is walking to grillbys with papyrus slowly walking behind him*
C'mon bro, you betta ketch-up with me! -DiamondDiva xx


A skeleton once tried to perform a percussive symphony with only his ribcage, while some people called him instraMENTAL, He showed them all by playing the XyloBONE. -Dat Shyguy


Sans: I need help finding Chara. I've got a BONE to pick with them! -f.butler


why did the skeleton go out in the cold? because he's a numb skull -Sans1kal™


when a skeleton is scared what do you call it
scared to the bone -Sans


what is a skeletons favorite place in New Zealand? SKEL-ington -Elmer J. Fapp


papyrus can be so MARROW Minded -[Hatt] Liam


You know why sans always beats you in genocide
He PUNishes you -[Hatt] Liam




Well that's all of them so far... I hope you had a good time!

[TheSansational1]

I've been reading these puns, and they are pretty funny. See you toMARROW!

[Eclipse]

This guide is so funny!!

[Sprouting0uch!]

Why couldn’t the skeleton be an organ donor? They were heartless!

[Cuck Meistro]

omg i love sans please someone give me his phone number owo

[Jesus Gaming]

OH MY GOD HAHAAH I LOVE THIS

[tactical cheeto dust]

great skelePUNS you got here, my guy. Absolutely SANSational!

[Nightborger]

Wow! What an exploding post! I had a BLAST reading these puns!

[Teooo]

:sans:

[Rocko the fox]

a ton of work was done on this a skele-TON

[Cyrix]

I'd make a joke about the unemployed, but it never works.