How 2 be russian in CS:GO

This guide will show you how to become the perfect russian player in CS:GO. Covering everything from swearing to team play, this thing will make you the perfect servant of the holy GabeN.

Starting Out - Communicating

So you want to be russian. First of all, you need to learn the language. No, don't worry, you won't need to learn all the grammar and words and that, just a few swear words!
Here's a simple guide to some of the most vital russian words:

CYKA (socka) - A russian word for female dog. Best used when killed.

BLYAT (bljadt) - A russian word for describing your mother. Best used when your team loses a round.

IDI NAHUI (eedee nachuee) - Means please yourself in a rude manner. Use it after saying CYKA BLYAT.

♥♥♥♥♥ (pee-dar) - Russian word for a homosexual person.

The best way to use these when communicating with your team. To express yourself, try screaming these words into your mic, adding BLYAT every now and then. Mix in words such as PUTIN, VODKA, BALALAJKA, and ROSSIYA to add flavour to your sentences.


Here's a good example. A teammate tells you to defuse at B, and you reply with "AXAXAXAXAXA KURWA CYKABLYATPIDARNAHUICYKAVODKAVODKABALALAJKAPUTINROSSIYAAAA".
That is the perfect response, which helps your team forward.

Also, mix in some english words, such as:

REPORT REPORT, NOOB TEAM REPORT

IDIOTA NO YOU NO BUY THE A VE PE I BE A VE PE

Helping your team

Well, although the best way to help your team is to communicate, the second best way is to help your team get kills. Sure, maybe your team wants to win the game, but who cares? Your silver rank is soooo shiny, and you only want kills! Here's a good video guide on how to get a LOT of kills.

Another way to help your team is to encourage them, if they die, don't go too hard on them!


Now that you have learned russian and some tactics, you need to become russian. For real.

Becoming the RUSSIAN BEAR

Now, you need to fix your Steam profile. First, join a group with the same name as a pro gaming team, like Virtus.Pro. Use the tag of that group in CSGO, together with some random russian-looking letters. Now people see how pro you are! All you need to do now is to make sure you look like a russian. Change your Steam profile picture to a generic caucasian woman with little to no clothes on. Now everyone will understand that you're not just a 12-year old american schoolboy.


Print out that picture and put it on your bedroom wall. Use it as your background. Understand what being russian means.
When you finally do, you are ready. Ready for Mother Russia.

Good Role Model

Perfect example. See how good he is at speaking.

[AgentW1nd]

дебил блять

[Bogdan Boner]

yes

[I'm Ionca]

+rep

[Tap Cat😼]

ЛоЛ

[amkec]

+rep

[JERRIB]

+rep

[Stroomer]

hi

[ra1n⸸]

KEEP THIS POST RUNNING YOU FUCKING RUSSIANS

[1ce]

Faen i svarte helvete

[The summer of Hardstyle]

So little skill provided by Cyka Nuggets