How to Heavy

This is my first guide where I hope to explain the heavy. Enjoy >:)

Basic Summary

Heavy is a large, funny, yet slow powerhouse class. Some people say heavy is boring, which I just can't understand why, but opinions are opinions, and this is the guide so I should get to the point. Heavy is given the most health in the entire game, at a boss 300 HP (450 when fully overhealed). Heavy and medic have a legendary bromance which we will get into later, and Sniper and Spy are his main weaknesses, but his has one more weakness... his speed. Heavy is the slowest class in the game, and his slow speed will almost always be the reason he dies. On the contrary, Heavy has a very nice DPS (damage per second). Heavy with a medic jamming a medi-gun up his pootis is the second closest thing to invincibility. Anyways, I hope you can learn a few things about heavy in this guide. Enjoy!! >:)
Heavy's promotional "Meet the" video:

Weapons

Primaries:
Default Minigun: Heavy's primary default is his trusty minigun (or as he calls it, Sasha). Now we will go over his default minigun's stats.
Stats: "She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon...for twelve seconds."
Ok, enough references, heavy's minigun does mediocre damage at long range, sweet damage at medium range, and GODZEERA level damage at point blank range.

Tomislav: This is a nice minigun, not only do you spin up silently so you can surprise your enemies, but you also spin up a little bit faster. However, this gun has a slower firing speed. This gun is good if you want to be an overweight spy, but mediocre in direct combat.

The Brass Beast: I don't know about using this weapon, you do more damage with it, but you move noticably slower while you have this minigun deployed and it also has a slower revving up time. Seeing as a lot of heavy's death come from his slow movement speed, and considering the fact you move at a snails pace while having this minigun deployed, I don't think it's worth it.

Natascha: This minigun lets you slow down the movement of any enemy while having a downside of less damage and slower rev up time. This weapon is best used as a support heavy who always sticks with his teammates. It also comes with an extra 100 ammo, which is nice. Since you have lower damage, you should generally stick to your teammates and be a support heavy, pair it up with the sandvich and you can also become a mini-medic.

Huo-Long Heater: This minigun is only good when you're near a dispenser/attack payload cart because of how it chews up ammo. While revved up and/or shooting, a ring of fire will be deployed around you, but it will chew up 6 extra ammo a second. This gun is to help with spies. However, I like to think of this weapon like the Razorback, as it doesn't stop the spy from killing you, it just makes his job less quick and efficient.

Secondaries:
Default shotgun: A lot of people seem to say that heavy's shotgun is bad, and that valve added it just to fill in a slot, and how everyone should use the almighty sandvich. I'm here to put this objection to rest. The purpose of the heavy's shotgun is so that you can have more mobility, because when you're spinning up your minigun, you move even slower than you walk, the shotgun is so that you can remain mobile while still being able to fight back without remaining vulnerable revving up your minigun when an enemy has caught you off guard.

Family Buisness: Identical to the default shotgun, except you get more bang than pow, not bad.

Sandvich: Upon consuming this, if not at full health, you will restore all your health, in a matter of seconds. If you are full on health, but a teammate needs health, say a medic, you can give you sandvich (M2) and heal him half of his health. You can heal the healer. A pretty good and reliable secondary.


The Dalokohs Bar: An edible device that is used to make the heavy, heavier. It gives him 50 extra health after nomming on this chocolate, but only for 30 seconds. It can heal you as well, but it takes hell of a lot longer than the sandvich, also you can't drop it for teammates. I would possibly consider using this if there are no medics on your team, but there is no doubt this weapon is pretty situational.

Buffalo Steak Sandvich: Upon nomming this steak, you will gain minicritz (yay), faster speed (double yay), more damage from everything (oh...), and be restricted to melee weapons only(...). This isn't a bad weapon, but shouldn't be used seriously. You can drop this steak for a teammate and it will heal the same amount as a sandvich. A fun combination could be this *ahem* "sandvich" with the Eviction Notice, as the minicrits should make up for the major damage penalty on Eviction Notice.

Melees:
Fists: You legit cannot go wrong with it, because it has no downsides, except for the downside that is has no upsides, but you should only be using melee for a last resort, so I would recommend using something a little more viable than the stock melee, like the Gloves of Running Urgently for example.

Killing Gloves Of Boxing: Upon killing someone with these boxing gloves of killing, you will gain 5 seconds of critz on all weapons that you can use to make enemies think twice before engaging in combat with you. You will swing 20% slower though. I would recommend using a shotgun with these gloves, because if you want to get the critz on your minigun after punching some guy in the face, you would have to rev it up, wasting valuable seconds.

Gloves of Running Urgently:
5/5. Know why? These gloves make heavy run faster, up to average speed (100%) when he has these gloves active. You will do less damage to players, but you shouldnt be using your melee for damage anyways. The real downside is that you take mini-crits while you're using it and a few seconds after you switch. I would always be ready for enemies when having these active, as if you can spot the enemy, you can know not to keep on having these babies active and that it's time to defend yourself with your gattling gun or shotty.

Warriors Spirit: Like I said, you shouldn't really be using melee weapons as a reliable method of dealing damage, so these bear claws only really drain your health by 20. Good weapon if you want to be a pootis bear though.

Eviction notice: I don't see too many practical uses for this weapon, but, as I mentioned before, can be a fun weapon paired up with the Buffalo Steak Sandvich

The Fists of Steel: While active, these giant robot fists will give you 40% resistance from everything, as a downside, you have a slower weapon switch time, and melee weapons will destroy you while you have these gloves deployed.

Holiday Punch: A joke weapon, but a hilarious one at that. Upon punching someone in the back with this, you will do a guaranteed crit hit, but no damage, instead, you will leave them in a defenseless state of laughing, letting you get an easy taunt kill. However, Non-crit hits will deal damage.

Heavy/Medic Bromance

A heavy/medic combo is devastatingly fun, in fact its some of the most fun you can have online. Almost nothing can stop you, almost... There are 3 things you need to watch out for when you have a medic tailing you. Number 1: Sphees!! Spies are one of the two classes that can instakill anyone. Since any damage coming your way will almost instantly be healed by your medic, two of the three effective ways to kill you is to instakill you. If he can stab you, your medic will be left without a heavy, and while medic can defend for himself, the other team most likely won't be too happy about the devestation he and the heavy caused their team. The spy can also go for a chain stab, instakilling both you and your medic. Constantly spycheck, either tell your medic to turn around constantly, or turn around yourself from time to time. Number 2: Snipahs!! Snipers are one of the best classes to take down a heavy, as not even full overheal will let heavy survive a fully charged shot to the head. Try to stay out of his line of sight. If you can get up to his sniping post, taunt kill him to humiliate the snipah if he isn't aware of your presence.
Number 3: Your medic!! If your medic dies, no one will be able to give you heals and it is likely that right after someone kills your medic, they AND the rest of their teammates are going to gang up on you. Protect your medic from everything. If you see he is hurt, give him a sandvich (if you have it equipped).

Meet the Zhe Medic showcases Heavy and Medic's bromance quite well. Not only does it show how crazy Medic is, but it also shows how an ubered heavy can wreck everything.

Conclusion

This is the end of my first guide.
I hope you enjoyed >:)

And after this, maybe you're ready to take heavy out for a *snicker* SPIN!! Hoovy approves of this pun. He says that it is very punny.

[Blazepast]

I've known heavy for a while but now i left that Sandwich eating fatteh and i went to battle myself.