Offical 1V1 Rules

I may have not played a lot of CS:GO but I've encountered a real problem. You want to own somebody in a 1v1 and you type that in the chat. You both meet at the place you assigned and then his whole team appears just behind him, headshoting you instantly. After you spam the chat with 'noobs', 'hacks' and 'aimbots omg', yu still don't feel justified.
So I'm writing this to the other guy's team:1v1 me scrubs!!!!

Intro

I am a little ♥♥♥♥♥♥ noscoper, so don't expect me to apologize or something like that. I am doing this guide for Steam Achievements. Also, I'm fed up with being owned by someone's team instead of a fair 1v1.
OK.
NOW.
Since you've read so far you are probably interested in the matter. When someone from the other team keeps killing you and you can't do anything about it, and then his team starts making fun of you and then you barely not get kicked...
That situation calls for immediate action on your side.
Meaning:OWNING THAT FAT SCRUBLORD AND MAKING HIM ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ AND ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ALL THE WAY BACK TO PRESCHOOL KINDERGARTEN(and so on...)

Preparation

If you want to own him and show him who's boss(that would be $n00p D0G3) you have to type in the chat:
'1v1 me mid --------------(thats the guy's name) no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, no help, no reload'
To prepare yourself you MUST:
-calm down and think only about killing him
-eat some Doritos to focus your mind
-get the gun you're most comfortable with
-throw away your pistol
-RELOAD
-drink fat volumes of Mountain Dew to flush away all unusable thoughts
-meditate and be in harmony with yourself
YOU MUST NOT:
-go to the bathroom to pee(that means you're scared)
-Buy a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AK47(cuz that is really noob)
-dont say anything like:
'Prepare to get raped'
'Allah Akbar'
'God will guide my bullet'
'I already n0sc0ped your mum'
With that said, don't forget to be intimidating. You have to make him crack under the pressure.

THE RULES

Both contestants CAN:
-bunny hop
-crouch
-walk
-wait(BUT ONLY WITHIN THE AREA OF THE RENDEZ-VOUS)
They CAN NOT:
-camp
-call their teammates for help(secretly or not)
-use a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AK-47
-Use a greande
-wear armour
They MUST:
-finish off the enmy(1v1 finishes when one of them dies ONLY)
-When emptied their cartridge, switch to knife
-respect the ennmy(i.e. dont harass, dont hack)
They MUST NOT:
-reload
-Keep their pistol and shoot him with it
-do shifty dodge moves and run away
-call their teammatess for help

For the others, not involved

Guys, I know it's hard to resist to shoot some lame ass noob when you see him, but the rules of 1v1 are sacred.
SO
Fot both the players' teams, you CAN:
-help yer mate by purchasing weapons for him
-escort him to about halfway near the rendez-vous point
-cheer him
-and do your own things...
YOU CAN NOT:
-Shoot the guy for him(its not a favour)
-Go ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and buy HEs and blast the noob off
-Be scrubs and harass the chat
-camp and if your friend dies gloriously, just finish off the scrub
YOU MUST:
-respect both players
- be cool and congratulate the winner
You MUST NOT:
-do everything mentioned in 'YOU CAN NOT'
+
-In friendly fire servers, NEVER EVER be a traitor and kill your guy(only allowed when hes hacking)

Miscellaneous

The goal of this guide was to make it easier for people to enjoy the game.
As all things, its full of ♥♥♥♥(but hey, what did you expect from a lvl dinner hour n00b like me)
If any1 has issues with the guide, questions, anything I would be glad to discuss
Have fun following the rules!
Peace out!

[INKSPUTNIK]

wtf is this?
when did noob learn to write
(i always do, for self-ironic commentary)