R3's medic guide

This is my (R3) guide to how i play medic and i hope this may help anyone who reads it, whenever your a new player or just a veteran wanting to see someone else's insight.

Rule #1: YOU. ARE. THE. TEAM’S. MEDIC!

Listen up, little medic! When you pick that glorious Medi-Gun, it’s not just a shiny, glowing piece of tech for your bestie to get all the heals. NO. That thing is a TEAM RESOURCE. It’s like a god-tier vending machine that spits out life-saving energy, but instead of candy bars, it’s team morale and victory that come out of it.

You are the almighty guardian of all that is health in this game. You’re not just babysitting that Heavy who keeps standing in front of you demanding “MORE HEALS” while mindlessly shooting at random walls. No, no. You’ve got a whole squad of chaotic maniacs to keep alive.

Sure, the guy with the minigun is screaming for Uber, but guess what? Your Demoman who's dealing with some sticky traps in the backline? Yeah, he needs that overheal too, because if you let him die, the entire defense crumbles faster than a sandwich at a picnic in a windstorm.

So here’s the deal, Medic: Never neglect your teammates. EVER. Even the Scout who’s zipping around like a caffeine-charged squirrel trying to flank he needs your love too! You’re not a one-man healing machine, you’re the team’s lifeline. Keep everyone alive, or you’re just another cog in the machine that falls apart when the gears get stuck.

You wouldn’t let your Engineer build his sentry and then just leave it to rot in the corner, right? Then don’t let your teammates rot either. Spread the love! Heal the whole damn team! You’re their glue!

Rule #2: SURVIVAL OF THE MEDIC!

Okay, listen up, you fragile little healer, surviving is your #1 priority, always. You’re not some deathwish warrior looking to go down in a blaze of glory. If you’re dead, you can’t heal anyone. Simple as that. You’ve gotta be as slippery as a greased weasel on a water slide, and just as hard to catch.

First thing’s first: You need survival skills. That means constantly scanning your surroundings like a paranoid squirrel on high alert. Turn around! Look up! Look down! Sideways! If there’s a spy out there ready to stab you in the back, you’ve gotta know where they’re coming from. If you’re too busy healing that Heavy, you're gonna end up as the Spy’s next item on the “to backstab” menu. Get those eyes everywhere!

And while you’re at it, strafe like your life depends on it because it does! Move like you’ve just used sandpaper as toilet paper (and we all know how that feels). Jump around, run in zig-zags, roll like you’re dodging a sniper shot just keep moving! The less you’re a sitting duck, the better your chances.

Now, when the poop hits the fan and suddenly the whole team is wiped out faster than a Pyro in a water park, you’ve got two choices: RUN or RUN FASTER. Seriously, get out of there. If you’re alone, there’s no shame in saving your own hide. A dead Medic is a useless Medic. If your primary heal target is dead and the others are... less than stellar, don’t try to heroically charge in like a one-man army. Trust me, that Scout trying to whack a Heavy with a bat is gonna end badly for both of you.

But wait! You’ve got some tricks up your sleeve. If you’re in a pinch, Rocket Surfing might save your life! Now, I’m not saying I do it, it’s dangerous but if you pull it off, you could be flying faster than an angry rocket. If you’re lucky, you’ll be out of there before the enemy can even blink. But be warned, it’s a high-risk, high-reward move. Don’t blame me if you end up as rocket spaghetti on the floor.

Survival is key! You’re the lifeline. Get out, heal more, and get back in the fight. You’re too valuable to die in a random corner. Keep your head on a swivel, keep moving, and for the love of all that’s holy, run when it’s time to run.

Rule #3: KNOW YOUR ARSENAL!

Alright, buckle up, because if you're a Medic and you're not packing the right gear, you're just some guy with a healing wand. You need the arsenal that makes people quake in their boots and sends the enemy running for cover, or crying in chat. So, let’s go over the essentials, shall we?

The Mediguns: Where Things Get Really Wild

Okay, let’s talk Mediguns the true heart of your Medic madness. This is where you get to have some real fun, depending on your vibe.

Stock Medigun: The Classic Powerhouse
Let’s kick things off with Stock the tried-and-true, reliable powerhouse. You give someone invulnerability for 8 glorious seconds, and if that isn’t the most overpowered thing in TF2, then I don't know what is. I mean, you can turn a Heavy into an unkillable wrecking ball and let them rip through the enemy like a lawnmower on a summer’s day. But it’s not perfect. Pyros can airblast an Ubered teammate, sending you back to square one, and then you've got the Heavy's Mittens of Doom those fluffy punches in the back that can interrupt your Uber faster than you can say, “This is not going according to plan!”

Quick-Fix: The Casual Godsend
Then there’s the Quick-Fix, which is a godsend for those casual chaotic moments when your team just keeps getting nuked and you need something faster. It heals faster than Stock, and it builds Uber WAY faster, but here’s the kicker: the Uber only heals you and your target at a ridiculously fast rate. So, if your Heavy is getting hammered, you can Uber him and turn him into an unkillable freight train while you heal like a maniac. It’s insane for keeping a team alive when they’re eating too much damage.

And oh, the mobility! The Quick-Fix lets you rocket jump or sticky jump right along with your explosive buddies. You might end up flying into a Sentry nest, but hey that’s just part of the fun, right?

Kritzkrieg: The F*ck You Weapon
Ah, the Kritzkrieg or as I like to call it, the "F*ck You" weapon. Guaranteed crits to a teammate? That’s just nasty. Watch as your Soldier obliterates enemies in a few seconds, or let your Heavy turn everyone into a pile of broken dreams and blood puddles. This is serious business, but don’t expect to be invited to the enemy’s next BBQ after you use this. It’s pure destruction and will have the other team typing angry words in chat for sure.

Pro tip: While it’s perfect for explosive classes, Heavies and Scouts love it too, because they can melt faces even faster. Just don’t be surprised if you hear a lot of “wtf” in your ear after a few well-timed crits.

Vaccinator: The Anti-Bullet Hero
This weapon is the “I hate that one thing” kind of weapon. The Vaccinator is your go-to when the enemy has a sniper who keeps headshotting your teammates, or when you're up against a Phlog Pyro and you want to say, “Not today, friend.” When you press R (by default) to change resistance types, you're essentially giving your team a shield against whatever’s incoming. It’s got bullet, explosive, and fire resistance, so it’s a counterattack machine. But beware: Using this weapon will definitely earn you some unsavory words from the enemy. It's a love-hate relationship, but when it clicks, it’s awesome.

The Melee: Swing for the Stars

Now, onto the good stuff: the Ubersaw. Honestly, if you're not using this, you're doing it wrong. Why? Because 25% Uber per hit is just stupidly good. It’s the best thing since sliced bread, and if you're ever backed into a corner, just take a swing at someone. Either you get Uber and save the day, or you die in glorious battle and make the enemy think twice about messing with you. It’s a win-win.

And let’s not forget about random crits. That’s right, you’re swinging a weapon that occasionally turns your enemies into paste. Do not mess with a Medic who’s running low on health and has nothing to lose.

The Crossbow: Your Long-Range Lifesaver

Now, the Crossbow it’s the only long-range healing tool you have, and let me tell you, it’s powerful. At 150 HP per shot (based on range), you can save teammates who are across the map, all while feeling like a healing sniper. Oh, and it doesn’t just heal people! No, no. It can also two-shot those annoying snipers sitting in the backline, thinking they’re safe. You hit ‘em right, and they’re either going to rage-quit or try to blame lag. Either way, you’re making a difference.

If you’ve got good aim and some solid instincts, the Crossbow will reward you in ways that will make your enemies curse your name. Every time you land a shot, whether it’s on a teammate or even an enemy, it’s a win. And that’s what makes you a Medic legend.

Rule #4: Your Primary and Secondaries (And Also the 3rd Guys)

Okay, I know most people call this pocketing your primary target, but you know what? I make my own rules, baby. The Primary is the one who gets the most attention they're your baby, the one you're gonna be Ubering, healing, and generally saving from death’s clutches. Keeping your Primary alive isn’t just important, it’s a matter of survival for you too! Because when they go down, it’s like taking the wheels off your car. Suddenly you’re rolling around in chaos.

Then we got the Secondaries these are your loyal comrades who aren’t your first love, but they still need your healing affection. These are your soldiers, scouts, pyros, and all-around team players. They get their share of on-the-spot healing and that sweet, sweet overheal when you can afford it. You need them to keep the enemies distracted and out of your hair, and they need you to not be a selfish healbot. Treat them well, and they’ll hopefully keep you alive when things get hairy.

Now, don’t forget about the 3rd Guys these are the snipers in the back, the flankers on the side, or that one guy who’s about to make a mad dash to who-knows-where. If they’re too far away, just fire a crossbow and pray it hits. If they’re within range, give them that overheal and kiss them goodbye because, well... they might not come back. You tried, buddy. You really did.

Remember, healing everyone is important, but some people get priority. The Primary is your lifeline, but you can’t leave your Secondaries and 3rd Guys out in the cold. Even the Spy and that lone Sniper who’s nowhere near the action deserve a heal. Maybe not as much, but hey, at least throw them a crossbow shot or overheal. You never know when that backstabber or headshot could turn into a “thanks for the heal, bro!” moment.

Rule #5: Just Have Fun (The Most Important Rule)

Listen up, because this is the golden rule, the creed, the thing you tattoo on your metaphorical Medic heart: Have fun.

Yes, you’re playing arguably the most important role in the game. Yes, you’re the reason that soldier is alive long enough to wipe an entire enemy push. Yes, you’re the unsung hero keeping the engine of your team running. But at the end of the day, this is still just a game. A glorious, chaotic, ridiculous game.

Learn to find the fun even in the most horrific matchups. Are you dying every five seconds? That’s okay! Dust yourself off, grab your medigun, and waddle your way back into the fray like the fearless health deity you are. Your team needs you. They might not say it. They might even scream profanities at you in chat because you didn’t pop Über for their solo, 1v6 flank play but deep down, they love you. Probably.

Not every teammate is your friend. Sometimes, you’re stuck with that one toxic jerk who’s yelling about how you missed one heal, even though they spent the whole match face-checking sentries. That’s fine. Ignore them. Mute them. Crossbow them a little heal if you’re feeling generous. Then send them on their merry, salty way.

Here’s the hard truth: you can’t heal everyone. Sometimes your team will fall apart faster than wet cardboard in a hurricane, and there’s nothing you can do. Sometimes you’ll perish so many times that even the respawn timer feels like it’s mocking you. It’s okay. You’re not invincible. But here’s the thing you don’t have to be. Because every time you stand back up, grab your medigun, and head back into the chaos, you’re showing the spirit of a true Medic. And trust me, even the most chaotic, clueless team needs that.

So never give up. When you hear the “MEDIC!” spam, when the pressure is on, when you’re outnumbered and outgunned, remember this: You’re the one keeping hope alive. You’re the team’s lifeline. And as much as they need you, you need them too—because even when the dust settles and it’s all gone to hell, you’re still part of this ridiculous, beautiful mess of a team.

And that, my friend, is what makes it all worth it. So get out there, heal your heart out, and have some freaking fun.