CSGO makes no sense

Me ranting. Again.

What is this?

A rant/review/critique/semi-guide to CSGO after a few days of playing. CS is an oldie, and I finally decided to give GO a swing before the sequel.

Also try my review of CSGO. *deep breath*

Armor is worthless

Every game I buy a helmet and armor every round. I'm still wondering why I do this. Now that I'm armored-up, a player with the weakest pistol in the game can one-hit-kill (OHK) me from a single, lucky headshot....sssooo what does this "armor and helmet" do exactly? There's no damage reduction, and 0 protection from headshots, but hey: it's pretty sexy.

Accuracy and Headshots

Headshots (at least for most weapons) should be removed from the game.

This is going to sound like smooth-brain observations, but hang with me.

When you think of the title, no one would fault you for thinking the obvious: when a player sees an opponent, they crouch down to increase accuracy, aim carefully, then fire 1-3 round bursts, right? After all, a player that does this no-doubt EARNED that headshot. Well, in CSGO, it doesn't work that way.

Take a full-auto weapon for example. When fired, its accuracy slowly decays as the bullets spread farther and farther from the crosshair center, and the recoil makes the weapons climb and climb until you're pointing at the sky with an empty mag. Then there's movement's influence: crouching is the most accurate pose, standing is runner-up, walking=slightly less, and running is the worst for accuracy. With me so far? This is where CSGO confuses me.

I have not seen one accurate, earned headshot. Ever. Players run in full sprint with auto weapons and spraying them FULL AUTO and get a headshot about 30% of the time, resulting in an instant kill and instant win of that 1v1.

W.T.F.

That is literally the antithesis of how "accuracy" works. Since players are not taking any of the aforementioned mechanics into account, this makes headshots 100% random. You can set up an ambush, camp, bait, use grenades, pressure the opponent with the match timer, and even have a high-tier assault rifle vs their rinky-dink smg or auto pistol, but if they spray that gun mindlessly at you and a stray bullet hits your head, nothing you just did mattered. You didn't lose a fight; you lost a dice roll.

Let's call this SAPOHK© (spray and pray one hit kill). Pronounced sap-oak.

The removal of headshots would take this random factor of the game, punish players for being reckless, and better-reward players for taking mechanics into account as opposed to firing as inaccurately as humanly possible for a win 30% of the time.

shotguns suck

It mostly has to do with their stubby range that doesn't reach much farther than your knife. If a target is farther than 3yrds from you, you lost. Sure, you can TRY to use it for camping and hope for no SAPOHK, or the objective forces you to run into long corridors and then you're f***.

Rifles...exist.

I'll never know why Valve put so many guns into this game other than bloating the options to make the soyjack's go "ERMAGURD SO MERNER GURRRNS!!" As far as its players know, the only section is "Rifles". Why? Because rifles are at the top of the food chain. High rate of fire, high accuracy, high damage, and some even have scopes like steyr or AWP to make them superior choices on every category. Even if SAPOHK© doesn't frag you, the body shots do plenty of dps to take you down in 2-3 hits. Shot guns do great damage, but have low range, SMG's have low range and are inaccurate but with a high rate of fire, rifles have all of the above. Rifles are the best for every situation.

Like every other modern-military-fps that's been developed in the past 20 years, it all comes back to M4's vs AK's.

It'd be nice to have trade-offs to offer a variety of strategies or playstyles instead of M4 vs AK SAPOHK....which reminds me....

The AWP. Why. Just why.

The AWP is the king of kings...er gun of guns*. The beef I have with the AWP is the same beef I have with sniper rifles in any other FPS.

In the hands of accurate players, it's a "delete" button vs defenseless opponents.

Now, before we go angrily bleating "skill" memes in the com- oop too late.

The average sniper rifle's massive range and OHK potential renders most targets defenseless because their weapons can't reach to retaliate. Most shooters have a damage-fall-off mechanic as well to further limit their power at long ranges.

While most FPS's will have the courtesy of making body shots heavily damaging, the AWP is a OHK no matter where the bullet lands. From the hangnail on your toe, to a headshot between the eyes, or even fired from the hip no-scope, its all the same result.

Snipers should have some reasonable weakness to exploit; some sort of vulnerability. A good example is the sniper in TF2. He CAN go for quick scope headshots, but the "charge" mechanic, goofy alternate weapons, and minimal damage no-scope shots gave him drawbacks as well as TF2 being class based where he could be countered by Spy or being blitzed by a bomb-jumping Demo. In CSGO, you pick a hallway, and chill until someone walks into your sights - scope or not - aaand delete. See ya next round! As terrible as my aim is, even I could take an AWP and be and overwhelming force.

Vote kick

What on Earth is this doing here?? I could see this in casual matches, BUT IN COMPETITIVE??

If they're afk, let the game detect and kick them. If they kill more than 2 teammates, the system should detect and kick them. Why remove someone from the game and call a "timeout"? Is the bot supposed to do better? Bruh, if you think someone's throwing the game, report them, ff and leave.

Am I missing something?

So now what?

Grenades are your friends.

Grenades best use is area denial. Molotov and smoke can dissuade opponents (and teammates!) from taking certain paths. Drop these at 3-4 way crosses to funnel the enemy in, stop a rush, delay their pushes, cut off retreats and such.

Also, throw them over buildings. If you use them any other way, SAPOHK will drop you before the 'nade leaves your hand.

Don't have money? Stick with your pistol, play safe, and grab some other shmuck's gun. You won't fire 10 rounds of it before you die, anyway.

Communication? Not even once.

In our minds, we all live in lovely, idealistic world where people have common sense, common courtesy, and are intelligent enough to solve problems and work together toward their goals and the betterment of society and humanity as a whole.

You poor naive fool.

In the REAL world, everyone is a selfish, self-interested, slogan-bleating, feelings-worshipping, violent, racist, religiously-bigoted, irresponsible, accountability-deflecting, misery-grifting, conformist mercenary who's favorite slogans are "idgaf" and "you get no p***y" ( and no, dear reader: you are no exception). The result?

"Communication" is pointless.

Any critique, advice, or suggestion will instantly be shot down by someone looking at the scoreboard and deflecting the topic to "who has more kills".

Define: Red-Herring Phallacy[www.scribbr.com]

From a little kid using his new "potty word" he learned from our laughable public school system, to the monotone teenager that only talks in edgy sarcasm, to the southerner that apologizes about everything at the TOP OF HIS F***ING LUNGS, to the hispanic that never stops his incantation about the latest anti-american talking point, you aren't getting anything out of voice chat. Turn that s*** off.

It's better to use the ping system with middle-mouse button, Z radial menu, or use the U key to text your team (Y to talk to everyone, if you really want to).

One life

My last criticism of CSGO is this "one life per round" business.

The average game plays like this:

You spend 1/4 of the game hesitating to do anything before you get SAPOHK, and other 3/4's watching everyone else play.

Um...can I play this game?
How about I be a civilian with a stick?
How about a little remote control robot that's mostly blind, but can use a radar to point in the general direction of the remaining enemies?
Can I play as one of the chickens?
Can I be a truck off-map and honk a horn?
Can I play as my spray and crawl on walls?
Can I play as the C4 and left click to beep faster?

It's ok though

CSGO is ok-ish. I'll still play it and have a little fun. It's still CS, so there's a nostalgia factor there, and the game isn't BAD, I just hope they patch some of this stuff.