How to survive a shrek attack

Ever wanted to protect your ass from shrek attacks? well this guide I mean...Survival Guide will teach you how to survive a shrek attack Just listen to this and it will be safe..your ass that is.

How to spot a ogre and stay alive

You can spot ogre's easily around swamps NOW REMEMBER THIS if hes walking around in a swamp that means its his swamp a ogre only walks in his/her own swamp. Their houses are simple just very short but long dont go on the property or else...

Areas of your body that will never be the same once hes done with you...

Ogres can be very agressive/hostile dont mess with them or else these body parts of the body may never be the same again...( Legs will break them with his mighty hands) (Arms will twist them until they snap the wrong way) (chest,ribs,and,spine He will smash your ribs with his mighty fist and your spine may be ripped out with his brute force) (And...Your Anus... If he feels in the mood he may umm...Do things...To..your...anus..that..will never be..forgotten)

He can not be stopped...

Ogre's bodies are very strong they can take everything EVERYTHING (this is just a lil note) Oh yeah their skins are like onion layers so... Yeah shielded by skin.

[thomasmiller2013]

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[Gotobar]

I gave created a secret orginization called the A.S.S. (Anti Shrek Service) and i will soon make a steam group out of it i believe

[Scooter]

this is amazing

[Sneeki Breeki]

gr8 b8 m8 no d-b8 i r8 it an 8 i h8 2 b in an ir8 st8 but its my f8 hey m8 i apreci8 that u r8 it gr8 u wanna d8 and mayb masturb8 i can ask n8 and we can meet at the g8 dont b l8 gr8 b8 m8 i r8 it an 8/8 plz don't h8 gr8 b8 m8 cant even h8 so I r8 8 outta 8 Gr8 b8 m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8., I'm str8 ir8. Cre8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8.