Cheesing The Countess - A Foolproof Guide for the final Crimson Court battle

In this guide, I present the absolute easiest method of defeating what many consider the HARDEST boss in Darkest Dungeon. Dive in and discover how I absolutely blasted the Countess without arriving at Death's Door even once!

Introduction

Welcome!

Is the Countess kicking your butt?
Do you REALLY want that elusive Crimson Court trinket for your favourite unit?
Would you like to save yourself the headache of fighting what is (arguably) the hardest boss in all of Darkest Dungeon?
Well, you’ve come to the right place - this is a strategy I tested and completely bootyblasted the dreadful Countess into oblivion.
The only thing I knew before facing the Countess is that dodge comps are the way to go. So I figured out - why not make it stupid? I tested this comp before in some dungeon runs and it worked wonders.
Without further ado - in this guide, I’ll go over the classes, skills, and trinkets I used to make the fight against the final boss of the Crimson Court a complete cakewalk.

The Units

The party I used was:
Vestal - Man-at-Arms - Man-at-Arms - Flagellant
You could swap one MaA for a Houndmaster, but it will make the fight more dangerous. You’re basically getting rid of a lot of safety for some more damage - not a great trade in my opinion. To be safe and execute the cheese at the maximum level, two Men-at-Arms are the way to go.

The Skillsets

Vestal: Judgement, Dazzling Light, Divine Grace, Divine Comfort
Man-at-Arms 1: Rampart, Defender, Retribution, Bolster
Man-at-Arms 2: Rampart, Defender, Command, Bolster
Flagellant: Punish, Reclaim, Redeem, Exsanguinate

The Trinkets

Vestal: Junia’s Head + Prophet’s Eye
Simple reasons - Junia’s Head provides bonus healing without damaging your other stats (unlike the Sacred Scroll or the Tome of Holy Healing), the Prophet’s Eye alleviates the bonus stress from JH and provides ACC and SPD bonus. If, by some ungodly stroke of misfortune, you don’t have Junia’s Head, use something that buffs healing - Chirurgeon’s Charm or Sacred Scroll. Sacred Scroll takes away some stun chance though, so I wouldn’t recommend it over Chirurgeon’s Charm.

Man-at-Arms 1: Old Unit Standard + Toy Soldier
I got lucky and obtained both before facing the Countess. They provide everything MaA needs - PROT, Stun% bonus, Deathblow resist, and when combined they buff Retribution. If you didn’t get any CC trinkets for the Man-at-Arms, go with a Camouflage Cloak and a Tough Ring - explained below.

Man-at-Arms 2: Mirror Shield + Camouflage Cloak
Mirror Shield buffs dodge. Enough said. If you don’t have the Colour of Madness, go with a Tough Ring instead - bonus PROT and max HP are exactly what you need, since the MaAs will pretty much be the only ones taking damage in the fight. Camouflage Cloak is the MVP of the trinket set - the Bloodlight effect acts like 75+ torchlight, so the Cloak provides an absolutely incredible +15 to dodge. It lowers your Stun resist, but hey - you’re not getting stunned if you never get hit!

Flagellant: Mercurial Salve + Bleed Amulet
The almighty Flagellant is your main (and pretty much only) damage source in this fight. Mercurial Salve provides an unconditional +25% damage bonus vs. Bloodsuckers, and a Bleed Amulet helps with putting the bleed DoT on the Countess.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

Take a full stack of Shard Dust. It’s the item that enables the cheese. I don’t know what the dodge cap is from Bolster, so I took a full stack of Shard Dust and used it 8 times, just to be safe.

The Battle

The Countess has some scary moves, which I will not go over here for two simple reasons. One - the DD wiki explains them far better than I ever could, and two - if you survive the first few turns, you’ll stop getting hit by them quickly. You can probably guess from the previous section what the strategy is.

Turn 1: Guard both Flag and Vestal with your Men-at-Arms. Do damage or heal as needed with the other two. The Countess might debuff you with an effect called Stumble, which makes your units change positions randomly every turn. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THIS EFFECT AT ALL. You’ll see why shortly.

Turn 2: Both MaAs use Bolster. Flag and Vestal heal/do damage.

Turn 3: Both MaAs guard other units again. Others do whatever.

Turn 4: Use Shard Dust on both MaAs, then double Bolster again. Others do whatever.

Next turns: Repeat the Guard-Bolster routine until you run out of Shard Dust. You’ll notice that the Countess rarely hits you with anything anymore, so you can finally start an all-out offensive. Remember to keep the guard on Vestal and Flagellant at all times, use Flag to do damage, Vestal for Judgement, Dazzling Light (against the Countess’s Flushed form) or healing, and MaAs for Retribution/Command when they aren’t busy reapplying guard with Defender.

And that’s it! With this strategy, you’ll murder this bloodsucking behemoth in no time at all.

[lotheravanti]

This worked for me, thanks. I didn't even need the full stack of 6 Shard Dusts

[Karmytex]

This worked for me. Thanks!
I also confirm that only 1 stack of shard dust is needed.
I overprepared and brought 2. Live and learn.

[♥♥♥♥ 100%-ing Games]

True, GR works well in this comp too. I decided on FLAG because he's the safest with his self-heals and healing over time on allies. Glad to have helped!

[Belram]

DId this with a grave robber and none of the recommended trinkets and it still worked perfectly. Very good guide.

[Dynamic]

Could optimize it with 2 anti, a MAA, and GR. Spam invigorating vapors for 60 dodge, bolster for however much you like, then just let GR cleave through the boss. Only issue is health but after bolster spam just guard with MAA or use the anti heal

[Printer Oven]

Even though I don't have the CC trinkets for MaA, I easily beaten the boss thanks to your guide! Don't bring 2 stacks of shard dusts like me tho

[♥♥♥♥ 100%-ing Games]

Glad to have helped!

[unkn0wnx]

I tried and forgot to bring star dust. Wasn't very easy but I never hit death door once. The 40 dodge that two MMA brings helps a lot.

[unkn0wnx]

Awesome tactic!