How to join a real life army

1. Sign the contact to join the US army

2.Arrive late at night

3. Get vaccined and dress up

4. Get ready for shark attack

5. Make decision if you wanna go to the training camp or not.

6. Train for 22 weeks

7. Go to warzone

8. If you're lucky enough, you get to die

[shitass]

14. become doom guy

[nicodude10]

13. get sent to hell because god found your hard drive full of cheese pizza

[shitass]

12. you die

[VastGM]

9. If you survive, then you get promoted
10. Your contract is up, now you have to decide if want to sign up again
11. If you sign up again, you get a ranger contract

[nicodude10]

instructions unclear, due to being a fat reddit mod i refused to go to boot camp and instead stayed in my mothers basement and enjoyed banning people for the most stupid reasons. Now i have been arrested for treason against the United States and my Execution is scheduled in 2 hours.

[jaycap911]

joe biden has type 2 diabetes

[Twelve Kinds of Bob]

If you're not lucky enough to die, then you end up married to a stripper you met three weeks ago that ends up crashing your 23% interest rate Mustang that she was driving, drunk, after having been plowed by Jody (and Jody's 3 buddies). Your credit score tanks, you're probably subsiding off a steady diet of Rip Its, some form of tobacco, and alcohol in such quantities that it'd probably kill half a 3rd world country (or you will once you realize that you have to move back into the B's as soon as you divorce the dependapotamus you married)...then you get to repeat step 7 until your eventual discharge, or your unlucky ass finally lucks out and you move on to step 8.

[shitass]

then leave it

[YouKnowNotMyName]

Instructions unclear I accidentally joined the 82nd Airborne roleplay group

[Voodoo_SuperPred(Drainer)]

9. sell your soul to israel