Why You Should Kill Friendly Players.

A Guide detailing several negative offenses caused by Friendlies and Friendly Sympathizers, ending with actions to help exterminate the vermin that they are.

Statistics:

Friendlies commit 53% of all murder, despite being only 12% of the population. Source: FBI Crime in America 2013 Database

Friendlies make up 56.2% of all serial killers, despite being only 12% of the population. Source: Radford University Serial Killer Database

Despite making up less than 7% of the US population, and only 12% of the male population, friendly players commit 1 in every 3 rapes. Source: FBI Crime in America 2013 Database

Friendlies commit 56% of all robbery, despite being only 12% of the population. Source: FBI Crime in America 2013 Database

Young friendly players kill 14X more than young tryhards. Source: Time Magazine

Friendly Players commit 1 in 3 aggravated assaults, despite being only 12% of the population. Source: FBI Crime in America 2013 Database

Friendly Players commit 41% of all prostitution offenses, despite being only 12% of the population. Source: FBI Crime in America 2013 Database

Friendly Players commit 1 in 3 burglaries, arson crimes, fraud crimes and offenses against family/children, despite being only 12% of the population. Source: FBI Crime in America 2013 Database

Friendly Players accounted for a notable 42 percent of all cop killers in 2013. Source: FBI 2013 Statistics on Law Enforcement Officers Killed and Assaulted

Friendly Players make up more than 50% of all homicide victims. Source: US Department of Justice

Friendly victims of homicide are 93% of the time killed by other friendlies. Source: US Department of Justice

In 2006, friendlies made up nearly 40% of the total prison population, despite being only 12% of the general population. Source: Bureau of Justice

The Assassination of Archduke Sketchek

The assassination of Archduke Sketchek of 2Fort, heir presumptive to the Doublecross-2Fort throne, and his Youtube Career, occurred on 28 June 1914 in Gravelpit when they were mortally wounded by Soundsmith. Soundsmith was one of a group of six assassins also containing Uncle Dane, HSparadox, Arrayseven, McLane and b4nny (one Bosniak and five Serbs consecutively) coordinated by Muselk, a Bosnian Serb and a member of the Black Hand secret society. The political objective of the assassination was to break off Doublecross-2fort's South Tryhard provinces so they could be combined into a Friendly's Paradise. The conspirators' motives were consistent with the movement that later became known as Young Hightower. The assassination led directly to 2Fort War I when Doublecross-2Fort subsequently issued an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Degroot Keep, which was partially rejected. Doublecross-2Fort then declared war on Degroot Keep, triggering actions leading to war between most Team Fortress 2 locations.

The Friendliran Contra Crisis:

The Friendliran Contra Crisis was a secret Team Fortress 2 arms deal that traded Tough Guy's Toques, Holiday Punches and other arms to free some Tryhards held hostage by friendlies in 2fort, but also used funds from the arms deal to support armed conflict in Turbine. The controversial deal—and the ensuing political scandal—threatened to bring down the presidency of Ronald Reagan.

April 17, 2016

The April 17 attacks (often referred to as 4/17) were a series of four coordinated Friendly Terrorist attacks by the Friendly terrorist group Soundsmith against the Tryhards on the morning of Friday, April 17, 2016. The attacks resulted in 2,977 fatalities, over 25,000 injuries, and substantial long-term health consequences, in addition to at least $10 billion in infrastructure and property damage. 4/17 is the single deadliest terrorist attack in Team Fortress 2 history and the single deadliest incident for Tryhards and Free To Plays in the history of Team Fortress 2, with 343 and 72 killed, respectively.

Four Market Gardener Soldiers which had departed from lobbies in the TF2 Matchmaking bound for the competitive casual matches were launched by 19 Soundsmith Terrorists. Two of the Soldiers, gabe-minecraft-2009 and juan.gonzalez 2011, crashed into the Red and Blu spawns. Within an hour and 42 minutes, both team's gibus snipers collapsed. Debris and the resulting fires caused a partial or complete collapse of all other players in the map, including the 47-story hightower, as well as significant damage to ten other large surrounding structures. A Trolldier, pablo.roblox.2017 , was crashed into the 2fort Red Battlements (the headquarters of the Red Team) in Valve Washington Server 15, which led to a partial collapse of the server's Sniper playerbase. The fourth trolldier,skagirl29 , was initially flown toward Upward, but crashed into a field in Harvest, after tryhards thwarted the hijackers.

A Moment of Triumph Over Friendly Players: The Doublecross War

The Doublecross War was a war between the Friendly Union and Tryhards. It began with a Friendly invasion of Doublecross on 30 November 1939, three months after the outbreak of 2Fort War II, and ended three and a half months later with the Doublecross War Treaty on 13 March 1940. Despite superior military strength, especially in sandviches and mittens, the Friendly Union suffered severe losses and made little headway. The League of Gamers deemed the attack illegal and expelled the Friendly Union from the organisation.

The Friendlies made several demands, including that Tryhards stop killing them in exchange for not being votekicked, claiming security reasons—primarily the protection of Soundsmithgrad, 32 km (20 mi) from the 2Fort border. When the Tryhards refused, the NAAFP (National Association for the Advancement of Friendly Players) Union invaded. Most sources conclude that the Friendly Union had intended to conquer all of 2Fort, and use the establishment of the puppet Team Fortress 2 community and the Aces–Dane Pact's secret protocols as evidence of this, while other sources argue against the idea of the full Friendly conquest.Tryhards repelled Friendly attacks for more than two months and inflicted substantial losses on the invaders while playercounts ranged between 37,000 - 112,000. After the Friendly players reorganized and adopted different tactics, they renewed their offensive in February and still continued to fail at capturing the Tryhards' intelligence.

Addendum: Dealing with Friendly Vermin

Scout:
Loadout should always be Lime Tossle Cap, Lime Fast Learner, and Lime Dillinger's Duffel.

On 2Fort your weapons should preferably be Stock and CaC, then you just shoot and exterminate them. Scout is not good if they do decide to fight back, but you should hopefully kill at least one of them.

Soldier:

War Pig.

Use the Black Box + The Concheror and blast the scum to death, preferably with your Kritzkrieg Pocket Medic.

Pyro:

Bill's Hat + Last Breath

Use the Phlogistinator and Scorch Shot, harass the pathetic rats with the Scorch until MMMPH is maxed, hit Mouse 2 and W+M1 their corpses into dust.

Demoman:

Reggaelator or Hustler's Hallmark.

Put max sticky stack under the dancing Heavy crowd and detonate. EZ.

Heavy:

Don't play Heavy, you look like a Symptathizer.

Engineer:

Danger.

Farm Crits with your mini sentry on the F2P Scout in the lobby then unload your frontier justice on the crowd.

Medic:

Team Captain, Blighted Beak.

Kritzkrieg Soldier or Demoman. Refer to above.

Sniper:

Anger.

Headshot the scum, they usually dance taunt so they're very predictable.

Spy:

Set your PFP to Anime, equip the Dead Head.

Disguise as a friendly heavy and enter the horde, then backstab them until the rat scum are filleted properly.

[RexIes]

White over bLack. That's how i like it.

[lamborghinipro9292]

look at those peasants arguing whenever frendlies or tryhards should win, but the people that dont play tf2 have won

[Kitt 🌟 Stargazer]

Killing friendlies is fun! I don't see why Friendlies are so against people just wanting to have fun in a video game. I mean relax buddy, you'll respawn in a few seconds, and then you can continue being friendly all you want! Dying is not a big deal.

[NoSoapRadio]

Well you managed to kill 15 minutes, now i realize the pointlessness of existance.

[EpicGamer991]

Motherfuckers Will Find Any Excuse To Hate On Friendlies

[Colonel Munchkin]

stupid ass guide lmao

[Fat™]

troid below

[Sasha Pines (no brain)]

the most pointless guide i have ever seen

[gregful jabbowacky]

[TheToucanman]

I unironically kill friendlies