how to be a drunk father in tf2

Hello, today I will teach you how to be a drunken, wife beater, gas station robber, son of a b*tch of a father, it's simple for I will show you how to be a drunk piece of shi*t.

Introduction boitch

Hello there, I just got out of prison a couple of hours ago for child neglect and child abuse AND may I add the fact that I Drink , they say I have a problem but I don't know what they're talking about! They keep saying my eyes look weird, they said it was from all that crack n ♥♥♥♥ but I dont believe them, anywho, moving on.

Certain Hats you need

So!

the first thing you will need is the Company Man

This hat can show that you have a minimum wage job with no future left for you, it can also show that you have no taste in fashion or any taste at all after drinking 291 bottles of 1819 rum, it's still good... right?

Now!

We are going to look at the BINOCULUS!

W-Who the ♥♥♥♥ would wear this unironically, I painted mine Australium Gold to get that high on crack or drunk off his damn ass style, maybe just like Trevor Philips.



Are we almost done?

Yes! Our last item is the Dictator


I mean, who WOULDN'T wanna be like Joseph Stalin or Fidel Castro and run a country into the ground and starve it's people into insanity? Probably not most people.




Okay, so if you have that done, it should look like this:

Wea- I MEAN DRINK

So

If you've made it this far and not possibly have died by your liver exploding in your chest causing you intense pain, you are now ready for step 2.

Get yourself a bottle of rum

Alright, so if you have not already gotten yourself a bottle of scotch, rum, or beer, you've been doing this all wrong! Treat yourself man, but anywho, make sure it's a drink you like, if it's not, this is gonna be pointless; but worth trying out, and also do NOT get a canned beer, ALWAYS get a glass bottle, those break easier and stab people faster than you can drink 2 Liters of beer before passing out.

So now you are purchasing a bottle, you dont really got much of a choice here, it's either this:


"A classic brew!" - Issac Newton (probably)

Or this piece of human sh*t

"What in the holy hell is this stuff? It tastes like piss!" - Micheal Jordan

(I'd prefer the classic brew as Newton stated other than piss, probably snipers)

also the critical hit rate on the Scottish Handshake is powerful beyond belief.

Group!

The how to stuff[/previewimg]

Conclusion

So I suspect you have done all these things if you have read this guide on Steam, and I also presume that is CPS knocking at my door right now, if you have any questions about being a drunk father, contact me on steam or through email, I gotta go get my 45 ACP and get drunk.

[SevrixOfficial]

it really works!

[extremely unhappy person]

Haven't we all.

[turbogaysex99]

I've seen it worked irl.

[extremely unhappy person]

I can't hold for much longer.

[Tarr]

hold the fuck up

[extremely unhappy person]

I understand your pain Levi

[derek.blair]

Reminds me of my dad! if i had any other memory of him that wasn't his crippling alcoholism maybe that would be different, anyway if my dad could he would probably learn tf2 just to use this loadout it is so accurate (but its hard to make a corpse play tf2.

[extremely unhappy person]

Pathetic

[Haru]

what if you actually poor piece of drunk dumb and can't get even a bottle of rum? (ffs step 2 is way too hard)

[rodok çavuşu]

i s n i c e