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The Absolute State of TF2 in 2019
By Kuma. and 2 collaborators
Just an angry and cynical analysis of the TF2 community and the general landscape of the game in 2019. More of a rant than a serious analysis but whatever.
I KNOW THIS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS BUT THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ON CERTAIN GROUPS OF PLAYERS ARE VAST SIMPLIFICATIONS AND GENERALIZATIONS.
OF ♥♥♥♥ING COURSE NOT EVERY PERSON THAT FALLS UNDER THESE CATEGORIES IS TOXIC OR UNBEARABLE.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY THAT BUT I KNOW PEOPLE ARE 100% GOING TO GET MAD ABOUT SOME OF THIS♥♥♥♥♥♥
Read at your own risk.
Alright, I've been playing this game for about 7 years now. It's honestly one of my favorite games of all time. The only problem is that this game is almost ♥♥♥♥ing unplayable now because of how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ it's players (generally speaking) are. Also prepare yourself to see a lot of hearts because I use the word ♥♥♥♥ like every other sentence
Join me as I take you through the horrendous landscape of tf2 players, and the general community surrounding the game, and how those two forces combined make this game nearly unplayable without needing to smash my headphones or ♥♥♥♥ing lobotomize myself.
1 - Youtubers
Anyone who knows anything about the TF2 community is more than likely familiar with at least 1 or 2 major tf2 youtubers (Uncle Dane, Funke, Muselk, etc.). I'll also put b4nny in this category for the sake of simplicity (and also because he's the face of this guide).
These people generate the most ♥♥♥♥ing mindless drones who will substitute any individuality (what little they had to begin with) with just repeating the opinions of whatever funny internet man is their favorite. It creates this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ subculture of retard mouth breathers who will ♥♥♥♥ing go off on you just because you said "uhhhhhhhhh I like the backscatter" just because Mr. Funny Internet Man™ said that the backscatter is "cringe weapon". It's not like I disagree with every popular opinion♥♥♥♥♥♥out by these internet famous♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ but the fact that most people will hold what they say to be the ♥♥♥♥ing law of the land is ♥♥♥♥ing abhorent. He (almost) gets it right, and it's not like I can blame someone for having a♥♥♥♥♥♥fanbase. That however, does NOT nullify the fact that these ♥♥♥♥ing trogs worship and parade around the opinions of these youtube ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Like, do you guys remember ♥♥♥♥ing o.W.n. or G.E.W.P.? Both of those shitheaps came from tf2 content on youtube, and both of them were insanely ♥♥♥♥ing unbearable.
The worst part about it is because of how ♥♥♥♥ing toxic these opinions can be. The amount of TF2 youtube ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that complain all the time about how "valve bad they don't update tf2 good hurr durr" is way outta line. Like god damn all you do is sit in your ♥♥♥♥ing home all day playing and making videos about a decade old game leeching off the hard work of people with actual skills in regards to coding and designing a video game. Like these ♥♥♥♥ing trogs have the gall to be like "♥♥♥♥ you tf2 devs you are bad" like god just shut the ♥♥♥♥ up honestly, like these people have actual lives and have a (real) job unlike you you ♥♥♥♥ing borderline NEET.
Now obviously not every tf2 youtuber is a ♥♥♥♥ing neanderthal like Uncle Dane, Funke, b4nny, and Soundsmith (as well as any other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I can't think of right now). There are a lot of good content creators who genuinely care about the game and spend time cataloging weapon stats and actually being funny without having to just make ♥♥♥♥♥♥ meme references every .5 seconds. Some good tf2 youtube boys include: - Whomobile - Red Robot - After Breakfast That's pretty much it, everyone else is ♥♥♥♥ing terrible.
The HQ for all ♥♥♥♥♥♥ tf2 content is reddit. Sure there are other smaller sites (ifunny, twitter, instagram, etc.) for these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to congregate, but generally all online discussion of TF2 will take place on reddit. r/tf2 combines all of the worst aspects of each community and it creates a deadly concotion of anger and retardation that's even worse than anything Overwatch has ever done. It's a non-stop circle jerk of fat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that take this game way too seriously complaining about valve and praising♥♥♥♥♥♥youtubers. The worst is when people with actual talent (like artists and voice actors, that kinda♥♥♥♥♥♥ waste their time making♥♥♥♥♥♥for tf2 people. Like whenever an artist draws someone's ♥♥♥♥♥♥ tf2 loadout, or whenever someone makes some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ meme where they say the n word while doing a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ soldier impression. It's just a black hole of talent and a general waste of everyone's time.
Some "Quality" Fan-Made Content
3 - Trading
People who take trading (or anything related to this game for that matter) seriously have got to be the biggest ♥♥♥♥heads on the planet. These dudes who get actually mad when you won't buy their ♥♥♥♥ing ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ unusual and just generally get really upset over fake virtual items. These people are normally the most sensitive people on the planet and will go off whenever you make fun of them or criticize them. It's honestly pretty funny most of the time. It's like ♥♥♥♥ing with special ed kids at school to set them off.
These people are such children that even someone as unfunny as Soundsmith can easily ♥♥♥♥ with them.
4 - Tryhards and Competitive
First thing first, "tryharding" is pretty loosely defined and everyone has their own variation of what tryhard means, but generally tryharding includes:
Killing people who are taunting
Taking the game seriously
Basically just being good at the game
Complaining about your team being bad
Anything else that children get mad at you for in-game
It's not like being good at the game is bad. I mean sinking an excessive amount of time into the game in order to be really good at it is somewhat sad, but it's rewarding. There are a ♥♥♥♥ ton of people who take this♥♥♥♥♥♥too far though. You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about, because we've ALL seen this♥♥♥♥♥♥in game. Some dude on the other team with his medic friend pocketing them so they can get easy kills on jose.gonzalez2005 and his friends. It's just pathetic honestly. Some ♥♥♥♥♥ comes out here after watching every ♥♥♥♥ing b4nny highlight and starykrow video and go into casual to dominate ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who've played the game a collective of about 50 minutes.
These people generally fall into the same group as trading people, because what's the point of dominating children online if you can't have your weapons track how many times you've done it? It's gotten to the point that I can tell that a game is going to be♥♥♥♥♥♥when one of the first things I see is someone with a comp medal equipped or 3 unusuals on.
I know the general response to my hatred of competitive players and people that are ridiculously good at the game will just sum up to be "get good", but the problem goes way deeper than that. These people seriously just take the fun out of the game. I mean asside from the fact that you can't walk more than 4 feet from spawn without getting killed from a mile away be some sniper with the razorback and some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ white/black cosmetic on. Having to actually focus and (try) in casual literally drains all the fun out of it. All the alternative playstyles that are available and just ♥♥♥♥ing around in general is killed when you have to deal with some edgy child on the other team with his b4nny signed scattergun who just kills you instantly. It limits what you can do because it's either have fun and just lose instantly, or actually tryhard back with meta weapons and (maybe) win. It doesn't help that these trogs normally travel in packs so it's even harder to try and accomplish anything.
5 - Friendlies and Community Servers
Friendlies are the inverse of tryhards, where instead of being toxic in how seriously they take the game, their toxiticy comes from how little they care about the game. If you've ever played on plr_hightower or ctf_2fort for more than 5 minutes you will have seen a ♥♥♥♥load of these lobotomites. I don't know how people can find it fun to just ♥♥♥♥ around on a hightower server for 5 hours while doing nothing but failing ot market garden people and leveling their strange sniper rifle. There's no point, like why would anyone find this♥♥♥♥♥♥entertaining if you just sit around and do nothing. The worst part is that these people will sometimes just kick you for playing the objective in game. Hightower specifically is the most notorious for this, because these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ get so irrationally mad that they forgot that when the round ends they can just play hightower again because valve ♥♥♥♥ing locks you into that gamemode. It doesn't help that Valve was too lazy to put a time limit in either of these two game modes (CTF and PLR).
6 - "Comedy"
I know this one is probably the broadest point, and you could say that this applies to most other online gaming communities. I would agree on about 90% of that point, but just because other communities pull this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ doesn't mean that tf2 gets a pass.
The ♥♥♥♥ing BANE of my existence is whenever people try really hard to be funny when they clearly just aren't. One of the worst things someone can do is just spam some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ meme in the chat thinking that it's the funniest♥♥♥♥♥♥in the universe. Like when someone names themselves "Big Chungus" and then just talks about that 24/7 in chat like it's the best thing ever.
I don't know what's in these peoples' tap water that's ♥♥♥♥ing their heads up so much that they think this♥♥♥♥♥♥is funny but it needs to stop.
Here's a fun challenge for all of you reading this: Stay up until 2-3AM and try playing a casual game. It is ♥♥♥♥ing impossible. Not because you won't find a server, but you'll find a game with all these ♥♥♥♥ing pathetic lowlife old ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in their 20s-30s who are just getting home from some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ part time job they have and are all grouping up to play. These people take all the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ parts from every other subcommunity and amplify it by 400%.
7 - Toxicity
There are so many ♥♥♥♥ing people that play this game that have the ♥♥♥♥ing toxicity of god damn Chernobyl, and by toxic, I don't mean people that ♥♥♥♥ing make fun of you or some♥♥♥♥♥♥or just spam "ez" in chat or some other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ phrase their neanderthal mind comes up with. I'm talking about dudes that ♥♥♥♥ing whine and ♥♥♥♥♥ and take the game way too ♥♥♥♥ing seriously for an over decade old source game.
How to easily spot someone who is *Toxic*
If you're playing a game of tf2, and someone does any of the following: - Has a ♥️ in their name - Their name is or includes a reference to a meme - Their name is or includes a reference to a tf2 youtuber and/or any of their content - They get mad at their team - They have a "meme/tryhard" loadout: which includes, but is not limited to
The potassium bonnet (bonus points if it's painted white)
Any australium that has a custom name related to someone (bonus points if it also includes a ♥️)
Pink/Lime loadouts (but you already knew that)
- Their name is just someone else's name (i.e. Vladimir putin, Karl Marx, etc.) - Their name is just someone else's name BUT they purposefully misspell it (Marl Karx,♥♥♥♥♥♥like that)
8 - Actual complaints about the game
Why is all talk not an option in casual? Why are random crits still a thing? Why is random bullet spread still a thing? Why do reflected projectiles mini-crit? Why hasn't the ubersaw been nerfed? (Like it's literally a straight upgrade) Why is the loose cannon as insane as it is? (You can easily one shot any light class)
Sniper is probably the most blatantly overpowered class in the game. I mean the ability to just instantly kill 5/9 classes from any range is just ♥♥♥♥ing insane. Nothing is more fun than just instantly dropping to someone you couldn't even see because they were all the way on the other side of the ♥♥♥♥ing globe. It doesn't help that it's literally the easiest class to play in the game, even more than pyro. Any retard that's day 1 to this game can figure out how to click on someone's head.
Scout is pretty insane too, being a fast hitscan class that can just spam W D and Spacebar to basically become immune to all projectiles.
Pyro also is a bit of a problem class because you can just shutdown uber, soldiers and demos by just holding down mouse2. Like why is there no knockback resistance on ubered players???????????
Bonus - Side Tangent About Valve
Why the ♥♥♥♥ did Valve suddenly decide to start censoring comments and guides and♥♥♥♥♥♥it makes creating guides like this so much harder for those that are more inclined to swear a lot (AKA Me). Like I put my ♥♥♥♥ing age in here Valve I'm a big boy I can handle being called a♥♥♥♥♥♥on the internet. Just because some 10 year old in Nebraska took a shotgun to the temple because someone on the internet called him a queer doesn't mean that my life should be made more PC because of it.
Extra - Notes from contributors
Demomen are ♥♥♥♥ing stupid, Soldiers are ♥♥♥♥ing stupid, Scouts are ♥♥♥♥ing stupid, Pyros are ♥♥♥♥ing stupid, Medics are ♥♥♥♥ing stupid, Engineers are ♥♥♥♥ing stupid, Snipers are ♥♥♥♥ing stupud, Spies are ♥♥♥♥ign stupid, Heavy is the only good character for he is the most balanced mercenary in the video game, he puts out a lot of damage but has a very big hitbox compared to other mercenary, Soldier is for fat retard babies who cant aim good to look at bodies so they revert back to their monkey brain instincts and get on their hands and knees and takes a big ♥♥♥♥in sniif their foreskin. The sheer stench of their untouched smeg makes his eyes tear up as he scoops up whatever remnant he can off his tip and fling it into scout's eye. Medics are too fast so and they can heal so they are baby class, spy is stupid cause he can go invisible and has broken backstab hitboxes so he is baby class, engineers are fat and ♥♥♥♥ing stupid cause they waddle over to the end of the cap and set down their trailer homes so their disgusting inbred yokel family can guard the point with them, Demomen are black. Scouts are fast and stupid and gay, dont play scout unless you are stupid and gay, Snipers are bigg big babies who just took a fat poopy int their diaper, instead of♥♥♥♥♥♥there should be a poop weapon where sniper throws a big poop. and heavy is the only good one, goodnigh
people who have "gamer" in their name deserves to be ♥♥♥♥ing shot for being an unoriginal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ - Orvid