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M3 'Grease Gun'

Well Hell, Left 4 Dead is 10 years old now, I'd do the song thing but I don't want to be sued. It's not quite ready for fondling, but it is at that tender age where it begins to swear uncontrollably and have the closing theme to He-Man stuck in it's head in association to the mere act of walking for the rest of it's life like the rest of us.

Anyway, let's celebrate L4D's spring chickenenening with something so spring chicken it's a flaming Cockatrice with a mountain beard that accuses the government of stealing it's teeth. And speaking of Bill, he lays down the birthday gift in spicing up the battlefield with his personal hole-puncher: The M3, the little lube gun that always felt deep down inside it was a Submachine gun and is still in queue for the remaining transformative surgeries. An old WWII-era classic that's survived three wars and had the good fortune to retire before seeing the people of it's country turn into high-strung contrarians. It's the real thing here, there's no modern restoration to be found on this little piece beyond a flashlight attachment, in fact combine it with a hit to the head from a bowling ball sliding off the wall shelf and you can re-experience the HORRIFIC TRAUMATIZING CATASTROPHIC DEATH DEATH HORROR DEATH SCREAMING BLOOD DISLOCATED ORGANS BLOOD DEATH EAT YOUR COMRADES CARCASS TO SURVIVE TOM HANKS EAT TOM HANKS GRAB A FORK like you were really there amidst the American soldiers! Just like Bill did!

Don't do that to Bill though, he's already experienced a fair bit of head whacks with all the shellshock and whatnot; anymore good punts to his frail noggin and he'll be unable to assist you in fighting off the incoming undead horde surrounding you, too occupied stumbling about in a cross-eyed demeanor with a rickety back-handed finger towards the ceiling like a mid-breakdown Sonic the Hedgehog, an imaginary squaking parrot, a quite real pair of epaulets and a folded paper pirate hat atop his beret, all the while lyrically proclaiming the Bismarck to be the scourge of liquid Earth that needs to be mechanically euthanized to the nadir of tectonic elevation in the name of Her Majesty's posterior's posterity.

This replaces the AK-47 on Day of Infamy's respective animations, re-targeted by me.

Do enjoy. Thank you, for supporting me all these years.

Happy Birthday, Left 4 Dead. You may be left for dead by your creators but you're never forgotten by your community.


The source files to the M3's animations can be obtained here![www.dropbox.com] You are free to do what you like with these, just be sure to give credit to myself and to New World Interactive.


Day of Infamy - Model; Audio; Animations
Insurgency 2: Mohammad, Mo' Problems - Flashlight

Doktor Haus - Particle effects
Urik - Particle effects
Lt. Rocky - Compile; Materials; Animations; Skeletor; Johnny Horton

♪ We'll find that German battleship that's makin' such a fuss ♪
♪ We gotta sink the Bismark 'cause the world depends on us ♪
♪ Hit the decks a-runnin' boys and spin those guns around ♪
♪ When we find the Bismarck we gotta cut her down ♪