The cancerous players of M&B

In this guide, I will go through the different types of players in M&B and the reasons why they are considered "cancer".

Introduction

My name is Dankan37 I have played M&B for a while and I believe I have experienced most of the players that you can meet online, I will go through them as if this was "The Divine Comedy", judging them from the least problematic to the most cancerous.





I warn you that you may find yourself in here, so please be offended.

1° Circle - Chat spammers

Description: Chat spammers are those players who constantly spam the chat searching for attention or just making sure everybody gets their opinion, they are the least cancerous because you can just mute them and they will stop causing troubles, also you notice them really well, thus making it easy to stop them.

Sometimes they are really toxic and even insult you when you tell them no one cares about their opinion, most of the times they are 12 years old kids who can't even type correctly.

Punishment:Because in M&B they spammed a lot, in hell, they will be forced to use only a special chat where no one can hear them, everything they type will be twisted and impossible to understand.

2° Circle - Bad Cavalry

Decription:Have you ever tried to walk along the beach in tropical paradise when you get stomped by some bad player who can't use cavalry? Well, happens many times, but you know what's worse?

Dragoons, they are the most OP cav in the game, first of all, they get a strong Line Cav sword, which has a good dagame and range, second, they get a rifle and third they get a medium horse which can withstand hits from a bayonet.

Sadly, they are not the only ones...

We also got lancers, just press "X" while charging to kill everything, if you're on the other side, just move...


Punishment: As they wasted their horse's life in life, they are sentenced to be fu*****
They are sentenced to use the slow artillery horse and their only weapon is a sickle if their horse gets killed or they dismount they won't be able to move until they die.

3° Circle - Spammers

Description:Hve you ever fought a soldier armed with a cavalry musket? How did it end? Which was the ratio of his attacks compared to yours, 6:1? Well, spammers are just people who don't need to block because they are either too good or too bad, in every fight you will see them spamming attacks.

They come in different forms, there is the officer who uses his sword and then there is the lonely rifleman with his musket.

They are not impossible to deal with, but just require a lot of concentration because you need to block different attacks really fast and attack by yourself.

Punishment: In hell they will have a rifle which has a really slow attack rate, slower than the bandages and they won't be able to block attacks with it.

4° Circle - Badmins

Description: If you have ever played on NW, you'll know about the badmins and their insecurity, the badmins are those admins, who, by need, have to stay in the middle of the attention, their usually spam the admin chat, which is annoying, and they issue random bans/kicks to players for almost no reason, they divide into 2 categories: Badmins and Cancermin.

Let's start with the Badmin.

Description: The badmins are usually found in smaller servers, where they have simple ways of recruiting an admin, thus making it more accessible to everyone, especially bad players.
The badmin is the type of guy who grew up in a strict family, beliving that the response to the smallest transgression is a heavy punishment, the problem with these admins is that they are often "blind", they abuse their powers to make themself and their friends have a special advantage over other players, for example, in RP servers (Not NRP, that one is complete ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥), the admin only cares if he is the one who was RDMed, I've seen an admin Perma ban a guy who RDMed him and then simply slay another player who RDMed me.

TL: DR Badmins abuse their power to feel better.

Punishment:In hell, every ban they issue, falls also on the admin, but it's amplified, for example, a simple kick will become a temp ban for the admin and etc...
PS: Getting banned in hell means your b*lls get bitten by dogs.

Now let's move to the Cancermin.

Description: Cancermins are the chat spammers from the 1st circle, but they have admin powers, also they are big losers and have no life.
They are mostly on big servers, they pretend that battle mode or charging enemies is an RP, also they need scripts in order to make RPs work because no one respects RP servers.

Punishment:In hell they have to RP with bots.

BTW Jailbreak admins are here too.

Deep valley

This valley is the separation between cancerous and really-cancerous, after this valley, you will find some of the worst players in NW, they receive the worst punishment.

This is an image of some souls acceding to the deepest part of hell, before entering they have to cleanse themselves by dying one last time.







Those who survive are shoot again in order to reach deeper parts.









Unlike the previous part of hell, punishment here is harder and there is no chance to appeal, if you break one of these rules, you're gonna be here forever, even if you broke it once.

5° Circle - Traitors

In this circle we will see the 2 types of traitors, I call them: "The lonely bully" and "The Traitor".

Let's start with the normal and notorius traitor.

Description: Have you ever played on Tropical Paradise? How many times have you tried to get to the boat, how many times have you succeeded? If you had troubles, it's probably because of traitors, they are kids who pretend to be "doing the right thing" or they are just trying to bully you, altough what they are doing is not completely wrong, TP is a Deatmatch server, basically it's a free for all, once you have sworn your trust to somebody by "Blocking up", you're not going to kill him in any occasions, but they seem to enjoy betraying people and then getting on the boat in order to kill more.

Punishment: In life they betrayed people, in hell they are lonely on a boat heading to a ship far away, starting from the docks, sometimes someone shoots at them with a cannon, if they die, they have to restart from the docks.

And now, the special one, the one you always meet in TP, the "Bully".

Description: What to say about this c***? Well, let's say you made it to the ship or the island, you land, and get to your cannon, you shoot down a boat and you read in chat "KILL HIM, HE KILLD ME" and there he comes, the lonely bully, who believes he is a top soldier in the navy seals, and there he is, searching you and trying to kill you, you want to fight back? Too bad, 3/4 of the players in the ship or island are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with hive minds who can't think a sentence by themselves, and you're dead because they are all onto you, good luck getting to the ship again.

Punishment:In hell, everytime they try to deal damage, they get it instead, if they die, they have to spend 10 years in a small cage + dogs bite their b*lls.


This selection may be mostly biased, but ♥♥♥♥ them all, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥.

6° Circle - Cowards

Does this image makes you understand what I am saying?

Description: Have you ever been charging the enemy lines, when suddenly, you see someone, his class doesn't matter but what matters is that he has a loaded gun, you're 1 meter away from him (3 feet), and he aims on you, you keep moving, bayonet ready and BAM, he shoots you.

Seriously? Did you shot me from 1 meter? How coward can you be? This happens a lot of times, in every server, people just shoot you from a minimal distance, sometimes they shoot you on the back while running.

The core essence of this game is the cool melee system, talking about this feels like a samurai complaining about machine guns, you lose your honour in order to get some easy kills.

This is the most cancerous thing in M&B.

Punishment: In hell they have to defend from 10 guys from the group fighting server, they only weapon is a pocket knife, the 10 guys are masters of melee and they will kill him forever.
Every death adds a clamp on their balls.

The Devil and Avoiding hell

This is the devil of hell, he condemns people and makes sure they get the right punishment if you ever get to see him in your afterlife, it means you are in trouble.







Hell may be eternal, but somehow you can avoid it, you just need to demonstrate that you won't be sinning in M&B anymore and you have to accept lord Blee as your unique divinity.

Save yourself now, or it may be too late.

Nirvana, where you want to go.

And at the end of my journey, I visited the M&B paradise, paradise is a beautiful land, where you only see good and fair players,

Heaven is divided into 2 parts, the good and fair players and the honourable ones because this guide focuses only on the cancer of M&B I'll explain both really quickly.

Good and fair players.

Good and fair players are those, who, avoid shooting from real close, always wait for you to initiate melee, they don't kick anyone and are fair to everyone, they always end their fighters with a "GG" and never troll anyone.

Honorable players:

Not all admins are badmins, not everyone just thinks of his own interest, here we find the top players in M&B, there are various ways to access this section, you can be a fair admin or you can be a good player who respects everyone, I've seen this types of player a couple of times, they are friendly and when they have to fight you, they hand you a sword in order to have a fair fight, I belive these players deserver reckoning, as they are the best ones.

Ending.

And there I am, heading back to M&B along with my Virgil, this experience has changed me a lot and I hope it can make you understand the problems with noobs in M&B.

[Rambl]

So, i can see why everyone hate archers in native, jump and shoot bullshit was a real cancer, but in NW?In mod based on shooting?Bruh, go play native if u wanna go melee.Disgusting.

[Flame Hashira]

If I didn't know how to play the game I would shoot an experienced player rather than lose to him in a melee fight, of course you never know if they are experienced or not until it's too late. This guide is pretty funny but that's about it. If this is how you think players should act in Warband though your living in fairy land, it's kill or be killed, honor gets you killed.

[Miktof]

Most incredible sh*tpost in the history of Mankind.
Dante would be proud.

[boatesandoates]

GIT

gud

[renaishtar]

Cowards? Better than running down the muzzle of a rifle like some lemming. Can't be good at combat if you don't know not to run at a rifleman line.

[Tarti]

M&B + Dante

Nuovo programma scolastico

[Mistic]

Any place above Nirvana cuz i dom quite fit there. Also why bannerlord has no modding support yet. I just wanna make mapa reeeeeeeee

[grandmaxd]

great job

[Security Cam #7]

I enjoyed it. Thank you.

[the 15th dalai lama kreanosaurus]

why the fuck am i not on here?