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The "solution" I'm using is the "session by invitation"
"Join your MC/CEO buisness
Start a MC/CEO mission (to avoid being kicked back to single player mode)"
I didn't realize I was being kicked back to singleplayer. It seemed like more of an issue with a port or an IP address because it just gave the usual "Player left" message.
But indeed that was the issue. Not adding them while I had a mission going.
I did start using this mod a while ago: https://www.gta5-mods.com/tools/gta5o-private-public-lobby-with-multi-ip-whitelist
which does the same just a bit easier :) (Its not my mod and I'm not like promoting it, but if the stuff above doesn't work, why not use another solution)