ᗜˬᗜ Okuu ᗜˬᗜ's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 7:37pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 8:03pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Mar 7 @ 3:25pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 3:48pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 10:02pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 7:31pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 10:33am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 2:55pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 11:24am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 8:12pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Mar 7 @ 8:47am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Mar 10 @ 8:50pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 8:13pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 3:23pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Mar 17 @ 2:17pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 10:18pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 10:47am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Mar 17 @ 2:13pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Mar 16 @ 5:35pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 3:37pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 3:30pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 11:54am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 7:43pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 4:52am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 8:27am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 3:27pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Mar 17 @ 1:25pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 3:29pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Mar 10 @ 9:26am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Mar 19 @ 5:32pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Mar 14 @ 1:15pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 10:50am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 8:32pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 8:27am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Mar 6 @ 8:53pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Mar 17 @ 1:27pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Mar 14 @ 1:52pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Mar 17 @ 1:58pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 7:54pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 5:13am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 6:07pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 8:08pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 7:27pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 5:13am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 8:31pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Mar 14 @ 1:51pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 6:34pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 8:29pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 11:00am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 10:24pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Mar 12 @ 10:06pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Mar 10 @ 8:53pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Mar 5 @ 1:56pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Mar 4 @ 8:26pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

6 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30