A Cold One's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 7:39pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 3:51pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 4:34pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 4:39pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 4:32pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 5:20pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 8:01pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Sep 25, 2020 @ 8:25pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Sep 26, 2020 @ 11:30am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Sep 26, 2020 @ 12:29pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Sep 28, 2020 @ 1:32am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Sep 26, 2020 @ 11:06am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Oct 1, 2020 @ 9:53am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Sep 25, 2020 @ 8:17pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Sep 26, 2020 @ 12:32pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Sep 25, 2020 @ 11:41am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Sep 28, 2020 @ 12:43am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked Sep 28, 2020 @ 1:32am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Sep 25, 2020 @ 8:16pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Sep 26, 2020 @ 12:33pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Sep 26, 2020 @ 10:55am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 8:16pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 7:48pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 3:53pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 4:34pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 8:17pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 3:48pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 9:00pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2020 @ 1:36am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Sep 28, 2020 @ 12:48am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Sep 28, 2020 @ 1:35am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Sep 28, 2020 @ 3:21pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Sep 29, 2020 @ 8:57am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2020 @ 12:54am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked Oct 1, 2020 @ 12:09am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked Oct 1, 2020 @ 11:54am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2020 @ 12:31am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2020 @ 1:06am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2020 @ 12:33am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Jul 19, 2019 @ 4:58pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

26 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

15 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

3 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

5 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

4 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

7 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

17 / 30