scout crucified's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 5:47pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 5:57pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 1:08pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 10:50pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 4:55pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 5:15pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:06am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 7:40pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 10:09pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2017 @ 4:06pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2017 @ 7:06pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jan 1, 2018 @ 12:38pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 8:02pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 8:19pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2018 @ 10:02pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:53am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Jul 14, 2018 @ 4:06pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 4:58am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:40am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 10:35pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 1:06am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 11:37pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 9:57pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Jul 12, 2018 @ 7:44pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2018 @ 10:06pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:42pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:57am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 6:58pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 11:25pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2017 @ 7:08pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 10:25pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 4:48pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 1:17pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 9:57pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 1:04pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:42pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 7:27pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 8:14pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 8:09pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 5:10pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 5:17pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:40pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:00am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Dec 31, 2017 @ 4:33pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2018 @ 9:43pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Dec 29, 2017 @ 5:19pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Jul 13, 2018 @ 11:10pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 10:53pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 3:31am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 10:33pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 10:13pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Jun 15, 2018 @ 6:36pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Jun 1, 2018 @ 11:47pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 9:28pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Jun 30, 2023 @ 6:02pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 12:08am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked Dec 30, 2017 @ 11:00pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked Jul 2, 2023 @ 1:00am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 5:01am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jan 1, 2018 @ 12:39pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 10:42pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Jul 1, 2023 @ 8:51pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

18 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30