Do women have belly buttons? I know this may seem like a dumb question, but I have never seen if women have belly buttons. I have tried before but the results are inconclusive. On the subway, I saw a woman and I decided to put my hand on her belly and pull up her shirt, but she slapped me and reported me for sexual harassment. Now I can't go to the nearby school and look to see if girls have belly buttons either. Anyway, she probably slapped me because she wanted to keep the secret of her potential belly button away from me.

You'd think that I've seen a woman's belly at least once, but I grew up in a conservative house and my parents would never let me look at any woman who was showing any skin below her neck. I guess belly buttons were covered because they're genitals, but I tried fingering mine and all I got was a court date. I was looking at pictures of women on magazines and I saw a woman with a belly button. I was so happy to finally have an answer, but then I overheard some people talking about how magazine covers are unrealistic representations of women and were photoshopped. This broke me. I no longer knew if they really had belly buttons. For all I knew, they were photoshopped in to decive me.

My search has been completely fruitless. I will probably never know if women have belly buttons for the rest of my life. I don't want an answer anymore, I just want to vent. (For legal purposes I did not write this)