Yeah, I'll have a big lady sized mocha.

I see you like magic. I guess you know that God was a wizard from space, huh? Yeah, out of his many brains came the god babies, the regulars, the settings, the animals, and the food. You know the little gods are still going around in wizard form. There are the ditch wizards, rich wizards, matter mixers, black hatters, and water witches. And there's always some poor kid who has a sucky life, but then he's visited by someone from a hidden world of awesomeness, who explains to the kid that the kid is the chosen kid, and everyone is waiting for him to fight and to win and to accept treasure, and to accept love, and to rule the hidden world of awesomeness like the handsome little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that he is. Happens all the time, right? I guess every one of us is just hoping to turn out to be one of those forgotten chosen ones, right? Ah man, you know about spells? There are so many! There's the hand-to-foot spell, embaldment, eye contact, TV is a spell, love is a spell. I mean, some spells call for strange ingredients, and even stranger, confusing actions. Oh! And all the magical weapons, like honkey muffs, and spirit crumplers, atom smashers, ♥♥♥♥-up boots, murder hats, and baby-givers...? Huhuh, yeah... Yeah, I know that sometimes actors behave like witches, and wear wizard costumes, but the same can be said of real witches and wizards, right? These days, the real ones have to go around wearing bald wigs over their beards, and they have to live normal-seeming fake-ass little lives. And you know the best disguise is old and ugly, unless you are already old and ugly, then you just act british. But they're around. To quote the bible, "the water monster is right, Cat Man." They are among us. I mean, I know that magic is unbelieveable, but so is nothingness and clones. And we all know that clones and nothingness are everywhere, right?

I love you.