Author's note: The contents of the TL:DR section is for entertainment purposes only. Ol' Il Pallino's (current) Steam account has never been compromised. Besides, Pamu is a fictional character you ignoramus!


69/10: This is Pamu speaking. I hacked the Steam account of this lazy, glass bowl, monkey fighting, mother-scratcher for not updating his ancient review to include the obligatory moist. Wabba lubba dub dub!


Crush Crush is the perfect backup game... But you intend on playing Crush Crush, make sure that you have a primary game to play while you're "playing" this game.

I've been a sucker for date sim games for over ten years now, and if you're a long time player of the genre, you should also enjoy this game, too. The girls are good looking, the dialogue is fun, and the types of dates you can take are plentiful. The large number of jobs that are available adds to the variety, and the large number of gifts you can get for the girls also adds to the variety the game has to offer.

Unfortunately the way Steam reviews work, they're an all or nothing proposition, so while I can recomend this game in good faith, the review system makes reviews an "all or nothing" proposition, and alas, this game is anything but perfect!

I don't know if the frequent typos and sometimes odd syntax is the result of a lack of proofreading or if Sad Panda Studios is intentionally making the game in Engrish (sic) as a means of paying homage to Japanese date sim games that predate Crush Crush, but if you cannot take typos and occasional odd syntax in good humor like I can, you'll probably be agitated by this game.

By all means, Crush Crush should be a backup game to any other video game you're playing. I made the mistake of downloading Crush Crush when I fell into the mindset where all the other video games I enjoy have gone stale, and that turned out to be a huge mistake. I just wanted to play a video game, and while you can make remarkable progress early on (especially on Cassie, the first girl you encounter), the amount of money you will need for going on dates and purchasing gifts goes up (there are girls who require over $15 billion in gifts to satisfy a signle requirement) while the rate at which you gain skills and job promotions goes down. (You're going to find yourself playing professional sports to satisfy one girl's requirement, which is a drag, because it pays far less than being a hunter or a lawyer, and the amount of free time you have to have on your hands to indulge in the sports career is very high.) (Edit: The number of time blocks required to engage in the professional sports career decreases dramatically with promotions. This is true of many of the occupations in this game.)

This game is going slow for me despite having purchased $10 of actual (RL) money for diamonds to speed up the game. And if you don't plan on spending any money on this game, then you should make absolutely certain that you have at least one more game to enjoy while you're waiting to fulfill the requirements needed to win over the girls, because you are going to be waiting an incredibly long time! Fortunately, the game plays itself while you're not actually in game, so you don't need the game (or even your computer) to be running just to make progress in this game. (Although you are more than free to sit back and do nothing while you watch the game play itself for you.)

This game has an unusual educational quality to it: I never learned in school (not even in college) what comes after a trillion, and I had to look up the names for quadrillion and quintillion so I could tell friends of mine about the sort of money one can expect to earn in Crush Crush, and how much they're going to have to pay to buy certain gifts for girlfriends.

[i]Author's note: The contents of the TL:DR section is for entertainment purposes only. Ol' Il Pallino's (current) Steam account has never been compromised. Besides, Pamu is a fictional character you ignoramus![/i] [h1]TL;DR[/h1] 69/10: This is Pamu speaking. I hacked the Steam account of this lazy, glass bowl, monkey fighting, mother-scratcher for not updating his ancient review to include the obligatory [i]moist[/i]. Wabba lubba dub dub! [h1]Original Review[/h1] Crush Crush is the perfect backup game... But you intend on playing Crush Crush, make sure that you have a primary game to play while you're "playing" this game. I've been a sucker for date sim games for over ten years now, and if you're a long time player of the genre, you should also enjoy this game, too. The girls are good looking, the dialogue is fun, and the types of dates you can take are plentiful. The large number of jobs that are available adds to the variety, and the large number of gifts you can get for the girls also adds to the variety the game has to offer. Unfortunately the way Steam reviews work, they're an all or nothing proposition, so while I can recomend this game in good faith, the review system makes reviews an "all or nothing" proposition, and alas, this game is anything but perfect! I don't know if the frequent typos and sometimes odd syntax is the result of a lack of proofreading or if Sad Panda Studios is intentionally making the game in Engrish (sic) as a means of paying homage to Japanese date sim games that predate Crush Crush, but if you cannot take typos and occasional odd syntax in good humor like I can, you'll probably be agitated by this game. By all means, Crush Crush should be a backup game to any other video game you're playing. I made the mistake of downloading Crush Crush when I fell into the mindset where all the other video games I enjoy have gone stale, and that turned out to be a huge mistake. I just wanted to play a video game, and while you can make remarkable progress early on (especially on Cassie, the first girl you encounter), the amount of money you will need for going on dates and purchasing gifts goes up (there are girls who require over $15 billion in gifts to satisfy a signle requirement) while the rate at which you gain skills and job promotions goes down. (You're going to find yourself playing professional sports to satisfy one girl's requirement, which is a drag, because it pays far less than being a hunter or a lawyer, and the amount of free time you have to have on your hands to indulge in the sports career is very high.) (Edit: The number of time blocks required to engage in the professional sports career decreases dramatically with promotions. This is true of many of the occupations in this game.) This game is going slow for me despite having purchased $10 of actual (RL) money for diamonds to speed up the game. And if you don't plan on spending any money on this game, then you should make absolutely certain that you have at least one more game to enjoy while you're waiting to fulfill the requirements needed to win over the girls, because you are going to be waiting an incredibly long time! Fortunately, the game plays itself while you're not actually in game, so you don't need the game (or even your computer) to be running just to make progress in this game. (Although you are more than free to sit back and do nothing while you watch the game play itself for you.) This game has an unusual educational quality to it: I never learned in school (not even in college) what comes after a trillion, and I had to look up the names for quadrillion and quintillion so I could tell friends of mine about the sort of money one can expect to earn in Crush Crush, and how much they're going to have to pay to buy certain gifts for girlfriends.