10 months i miss you
forkrave   Mooresville, North Carolina, United States
 
 
:steamhappy:
Şu Anda Çevrimdışı
https://youtu.be/6ulQgfqkvLY SUPER HAPPY (at the time of writing that) now i just feel hopeless and so i wanna die but i suffer because theres a little glimmer of hope i always feel with you i want to believe in it, as long as its real, i know i will, and then ill be safe.
https://youtu.be/6ulQgfqkvLY SUPER HAPPY (at the time of writing that)...
now i just feel hopeless and so i wanna die but i suffer because theres a little glimmer of hope i always feel with you i want to believe in it, as long as its real, i know i will, and then ill be safe.
https://youtu.be/hwBN0g_E9VA
https://youtu.be/x-7BIIzp_mw
https://youtu.be/ed3cU8GhAYQ
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxexbotpoU1L31PCc7FtmSlfsnSZ_XX9fb?si=KTLZ6-2IJs7-uPPt
I AM... AN EXTREMELY AVID DAVID PAKMAN, DESTINY, SHOE0NHEAD, MRGIRL VIEWER
https://youtu.be/d0VwtdTVwqI
https://youtu.be/Bky4Vc4OGVY
https://youtu.be/dSvpj6kUOkI
https://youtu.be/NpJaxALgbnQ
i am not a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ communist just because i am able to act out any idea i want for fun to kill time
https://youtu.be/olXcJ5VFzc0
https://youtu.be/b5idPkbW68c
if u scroll down ur gonna see how much of dis steam has removed
https://youtu.be/abhbBdBc3_A
https://youtu.be/abhbBdBc3_A
https://youtu.be/olXcJ5VFzc0
https://youtu.be/abhbBdBc3_A
☣☏ ⦕ 𝓓𝓘𝓐𝓖𝓝𝓞𝓢𝓔𝓓 𝓢𝓒𝓗𝓘𝓩𝓞 ⦖ ✿
https://youtu.be/dquFh_iiRHw
^ dat ♥♥♥♥ makes me think of makin burger
aikophrenic
dont scrool down guys, its ok to just act like im another human being
sad rotting dying starving hollow husk!!!!
o_o

you woudl not believe it
imgonna lose it



a <3











i dont want help i want either darkness or trust that im safe
bc den i wouldnt need help
ive never gone mute around you because i wanted acceptenseee for being da way i am
the slightest worry makes me die inside and then revived to be stabbed in the heart and paralyzed to bleed out
im just starved of everything and tormented and abused and scared into being afraid of trust
and now i break down over the idea that breaking down over breaking down about how im not sure if its safe to break down means im gonna lose you because you wont like it means i lost you which means im rotting, am i always gonna be ok man
my arm is not bleeding bc of you, fr
trust me everything i say i mean it in a good way unless im breaking myself down thats all just straight
i think i honeslty have never sleptand felt safe faling asleep , i only get like 5 hours a night
always have, youre sort of a help for dat man, bc if i didnt have THE THOUGHT of you then i mean I NEVER SLEPT! i just broke my entire chance of a life into pieces, and now im being taunted with the idea of being squeezed and stuck back together and protected and then realizing theres nothing likable left and im gonna fail myself anyway so i wanna giv up :(
can you please be loyal? dats all i need to be sure of, then i can feel safe, if thats ok
i dont wanna eat i really really dont can i please just lay down please i only have one reason to be awake and i wanna just skip time forward to find out if im safe PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if theres ever been anything in my life ive really cared about which really made me want to do things with my existence its you and the idea of having something that loved observing me like a ltitle zoo animal for only them and i hope thats ok
i dont even know what i mean by that but just is that ok???
how am i loved :(
"loser" :(
the hollow feeling in my heart is the feeling of being abandoned unable to stop hurting me making me fear abandonment more and crave acceptance more and then crave it so much i get abandoned making it even worse over and over
what is it like to feel safe
ive never felt dat
when i was like just barely old enough to sleep in a bed and not a crib i have this conscious memory of being like held in bed to sleep and then waking up an hour later in pure darkness abandoned and scared and i hallucinated a person tapping on my ear and it ♥♥♥♥♥♥ me up so bad i have that memory COMBINED with a memory from like a year later because it traumatized me and now i never trust anyone who promises me they care because i dont know what thats like and keep looking for it becuase im scared i dont have it im sorry
DOGGIEEE ARF ARF 🐶🐶🐶
👇👇😀😀😄😄😁😁😁
I can't ignore years and years of isolation and social silence.
I've tried reaching out, being kind, being mean, being mute.
no matter who you are reading this so long as youre close enough to me to like be someone i speak to everyday and know my real name youre more than just an awesome person i lov but ur literally the closest thing ive ever had to hope for any kind of life besides rotting and suffering with my thoughts all day
there was 6 years of my life from like 5 to 11 years old where i was so desperate for human contact yet so afraid of making it hurt that i just isolated myself from anypony at school and at home online or anything never ever made friends with anyone or even used my mic in discord because when i was 7 the first public vc i had i got attacked for bein a kid and just never joined until one day i finally just broke and vced andif i never did that i wouldve never been here :) i hope it was worth it..
anyway so because of that the only people i ever said anything to was my cousin and parents and to everyone else i was mute or saying the most insane verbal tick ♥♥♥♥ ever
which hurt me more, which made me even more isolated,
ANYWAY i had no friends :( like ever :(
I just seem to be thrown away and used by people at every waking moment.
How I feel and who I am has never mattered to anyone.
I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥ struggling, and I have no choice to sit here and just rot away in silence.
I have strong feelings like I should've been beaten or emotional traumatized more until my brain was ♥♥♥♥♥♥ broken.
I feel so awful that I want to just continue to suffer.
And now being myself always feels weird, and i feel weird, and i feel sorry for that, and then it just haunts me, and then i seem insane asking about so much stuff because it ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ burns my bones because i feel what it would be like to die knowing i will if im being used

i want a hug
do you guys agree that everypony should just hug and be lovely friendly people to each other and love love love love love <33
im just wanna be a gamer all day
im gonna pee hit a blinker and record a minecraft lets play like its 2011, and ill drink four loko da whole time OH WAIT NOO I GOTTA CHECK THE MUSHROOMS IM GROWIN
tell my friends i love them, tell my girlfriend i love her a lot more than anything else ever possuble imfinitie. i am on a water tower rn I JUST CLIMBED IT, im on my phone guys
🪐
i lov my firnds
🐥🐰🐨🥺🥺🥺🪽💐🐯🐝🐣🐩🐩🩵🩷💛
dats close?
ni hao
is it 3 much?
please let me go home
new dentist guy is chill ngl, thunderstorm
ayo shoutout my dentist im so sorry my teeth were like that bro its not usually like that im not a loser i just was chillin all week ;)
just lay in bed and rot all day and be loved
can i please just sleep?
dis milkshake is rly gud :P
computer feels warn I AM A CAT so im gonna stay at my pc :)
pls just let me sleep all day
im just awesome :D
| | please believe me 🥺
did i even do anything wrong or is everything actually safe and okay *hugs*
7-zip BIG DULK CUP? WHAT
im sorry letz talk im safe ill chanje
IM CHILL >n<
am gonna starve myself
am hate lookin in da mirror
LINK WAS HERE ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
HPPD 🥺
(I SWEAR IT HAS TO BE BRO I HAVE CRAZY VISUAL SNOW TODAY)
can i hav a hug
>;3
im a burden 😞😞
😭
is this how it feels talking to me 😓
im sorry.. thank u
WANNA BE WANNA BE A FURRY x3
*cries*
hey, 😿
🧡💚
can i just chill out 4ever and not do anything?
(in vias voice) The Maggots: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ YAM 🪱🪱🪱🐛🐛🐛🐜🐜🐜
i wanna bedrot and just go to a multipliayer VR Chat but in my brain while i decay irl and just get eaten by maggots :3
if ur real then im so dankful fur u :)
keep me away from getting up =(
PLEASE LET ME STAY W
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thank u man!!! dis is so true
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10 months i miss you 31 May @ 6:34 
you are the best
10 months i miss you 31 May @ 6:34 
hi via