he touched me when I was sleeping plz 911 nuke him

+ rep I am 13. my grandpa and I are staying down at his shack at the moment. I've been sleeping with no clothes on for the passed few nights because it feels better and my grandpa doesn't come into my room much, so he wouldn't know. But this morning I accidentally slept in so grandpa came in to wake me up. I had morning wood (an erection in the morning that is caused in your sleep) and I had kicked the covers off during the night so I was laying there naked, with a hard-on (how embaressing!!). Grandpa quickly went out of the room and we weren't talking because it was awkward. Then later on today I was wanking off in the bathroom (which doesn't have a lock) when I thought my grandpa was outside. He walked in just as I was ejaculating and groaning with orgasm. doesn't get much more embaressing than that!! How unlucky. My grandpa and I haven't talked for WEEKS, thankfully he was there to clutch up and win the premier game, he brighten my day and gave me the courage to fix my relationship

+rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

hes a super hero hiding as a normal man

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What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little ♥♥♥♥♥? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the ♥♥♥♥ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the Internet? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your “life”.