Have y’all ever seen ‘Wreck-It Ralph’? You remember how that girl in there — the people that was racing? She was the glitch. You’re telling me they don’t look at me like the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ glitch? You’re telling me people don’t look at Kanye West like the glitch? Right now. And she was on the side of the video game, the whole time! It’s in my code.


During a stream i donated an extremely large sum to hbox and asked if he would come over to my house to play casuals with me. I live in his area and the amount of money donated was quite sizable, around 3k,so he agreed. He showed up the following weekend like we planned, but he was 3 hours late. He got out of his pink maserati, and half a dozen young boys wearing golden, skin tight shorts and hbox t-shirts exited via the trunk. Each gingerly held a silver gamecube controller resting on a deep purple cushion. Hbox, donned in a pink cloak, but otherwise a ragged pair of burlap pants and stained wife-beater, carefully selected one of these controllers. He took a single ritz cracker from his pocket and deposited it in the mouth of the boy who he took the controller from. Hbox turned to enter my house while the boys fought each other for the cracker. The first thing he said when he entered my house was "this box be hungry. Feed me." Uncomfortable as i was, i complied, and quickly whipped up my grandmother's secret 4 cheese lasagna. While it was in the oven i asked hbox if he would like to start playing. I had to ask this several times as it seemed as though he hadnt heard me. Instead he was using a table knife to pick his teeth, leaving hardened bits of plaque on my dining room table. When he finally heard my request and consented, he demanded to have play the player one slot. I was happy to allow this, i just wanted a few sets with my idol. At the character select screen, he spent nearly half an hour picking his character, i suggested he pick puff, as i was most excited to play against the character he was known for. Instead, he sneered and selected red pikachu. For the first 3 sets he only used down b. Of course, i won these sets, but every time he lost a stock, hbox would take a pair of safety scissors and cut a small piece of fabric off my living room carpet. At this point the lasagna was done baking, and hbox immediately spat it out. I was stunned, ive seen diehard vegans and lactose intolerant men finish entire pans of this lasagna singlehandedly. Before i could say anything, he took my grandmother's cookbook off of the bookshelf and tore out the recipe for the dish. He folded it neatly in half, placed it in his velcro wallet, and then set the wallet on fire. Angrily, i implored why he would do such a thing. Hbox gave no answer. Instead he spat in my plate of lasagna and took my melee setup, claiming that it was his divine right to confiscate any "misused or mistreated equipment" then he left my house, speeding off in his maserati and leaving a servant-boy on the street. The boy did not try to follow the car. All in all id say hes a pretty cool guy?