DonaldCrack®'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2016 @ 6:54pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jul 15, 2021 @ 12:11am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2016 @ 6:54pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:04am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2016 @ 6:58pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:32pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Aug 11, 2016 @ 12:41pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 7:41am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:20am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 6:37am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 1:19pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 2:15pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:28pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 6:19am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 6:20am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 7:34am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 12:52pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:59am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 1:40pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:20am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 10:53am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 6:50am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 7:01am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:29am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Aug 12, 2016 @ 1:10pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Aug 11, 2016 @ 12:39pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 7:14am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 3:48am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:55am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 12:26pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Sep 8, 2022 @ 5:50pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2016 @ 6:54pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:52am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Sep 8, 2022 @ 6:00pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 3:46am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:12am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 11:03am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jul 30, 2016 @ 4:46am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Aug 11, 2016 @ 12:43pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:25am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Aug 1, 2016 @ 2:53am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jul 2, 2022 @ 8:04am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:01am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 3:05am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:00am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 6:11am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 5:20am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 5:04am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Sep 8, 2022 @ 6:00pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 1:18pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked Sep 9, 2022 @ 7:30am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 4:30pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2022 @ 6:17am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

11 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

4 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30