Pain's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 2:50am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Mar 20, 2017 @ 3:10am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 1:43am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Mar 20, 2017 @ 3:04am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jun 20, 2015 @ 9:27am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 1:51am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 3:25am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Mar 20, 2017 @ 3:39am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Mar 21, 2017 @ 5:21am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Mar 22, 2017 @ 3:52am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Mar 31, 2017 @ 4:45am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Mar 31, 2017 @ 6:18am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Jul 7, 2017 @ 7:10pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Mar 22, 2017 @ 3:33am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Mar 20, 2017 @ 3:32am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 1:32am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Mar 31, 2017 @ 5:25am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 2:45am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Mar 22, 2017 @ 3:08am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Mar 21, 2017 @ 4:47am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Mar 21, 2017 @ 5:16am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Mar 31, 2017 @ 4:50am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jun 20, 2015 @ 9:27am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Mar 21, 2017 @ 5:09am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Mar 20, 2017 @ 3:08am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Mar 22, 2017 @ 2:57am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 3:24am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 2:43am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jun 20, 2015 @ 9:26am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 2:50am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 2:43am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Mar 22, 2017 @ 3:00am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Mar 31, 2017 @ 6:19am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Apr 12, 2017 @ 12:34am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Apr 12, 2017 @ 4:20pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Apr 12, 2017 @ 10:40pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked Jul 2, 2017 @ 12:54am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked Apr 12, 2017 @ 10:32pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked Jul 7, 2017 @ 6:03pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked Jul 7, 2017 @ 5:20pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 3:06am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

26 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

2 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

7 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

15 / 30

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

9 / 30