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The listing follows

- 1x Monster Dragon Dildo With ♥♥♥ Dispenser (15") £89.99
- 1x CCTV Footage of Local Playground and Preschool £15.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (XXXXL) £24.45
- 1x Cummies Lubricant 44oz £19.99
- 1x Next day shipping £45.00
- 1x 240 Volt ScrewMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection pouch, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system £120.95
- Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)

I used to roll half a bottle of laxative pills into a Crunch wrap supreme and then leave cow pies on peoples door mats. People in my town installed porch cameras to catch the "Phantom S hitter" they said it couldn't possibly be one man, the hits were too frequent and too large. It had to be a whole gang of city punks coordinating and making planned precision strikes. I felt like a god among lesser beings in my town. Every time i was at the local diner and i overheard someone screaming about the black slop they found on their porch i felt powerful and unstoppable. I became too arrogant, started striking during the day. That's when they caught me and strung me up in the streets and hit me with rocks. I barely escaped with my life and i had to leave town. Now after all these years, I'm in a new town and I behave well enough. But I've got this nagging feeling, the urge is back, and I'm starting to think that my new town is about to experience a storm

I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here. If you require and guidance, please, throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although, I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)

Hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that. It's really rare to see femboys playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play Transformice or Roblox sometime. Roblox can sometimes be scary with those spooky graphics, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun.

F*** Ice age baby he is a waste of oxygen and space on the earth😡😡 The moment I saw that baby I wanted to tear the babies organs apart and throw it in lava. Oh you like Ice age baby well F*** you 🤬🤬🤬🤬Ice age baby is the worst being on earth. Chop him into pieces and feed it to Sid cause I FING hate ice age baby. Oh no ice age baby is dying call the ambulance 🚑🚑🚑 Oh wait this is 10000 b.c F the ambulance and just throw him off the cliff. Anyways thanks for join in my ted talk about Ice age baby and also F*** Ice age baby

-rep great guy