VAN DARKHOLME walks inside the locker room, dressed in black leather gear. After a moment's hesitation whether to turn around or just open the locker, he glances at BOSS OF THIS GYM who is sitting on a bench after a sweaty workout in the gym. VAN DARKHOLME places his black messenger purse on the bench and proceeds to open his locker.
BOSS OF THIS GYM notices the vietnamese-american born man clad in leather and decides to taunt him.

BOSS OF THIS GYM: Hey buddy I think you've got the wrong door, the leather club is two blocks down.
BOSS OF THIS GYM takes a sip from his water bottle. VAN DARKHOLME turns his head and makes eye contact with BOSS OF THIS GYM.
VAN DARKHOLME: ♥♥♥♥ you ♂.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: No, ♥♥♥♥ you leather boy.
BOSS OF THIS GYM lifts himself up from the bench and walks towards VAN DARKHOLME.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: Maybe you and I should settle it right here on the ring if you didn-
VAN DARKHOLME interrupts BOSS OF THIS GYM.
VAN DARKHOLME: Oh yeah? I'm gonna kick your ass.
VAN DARKHOLME pushes BOSS OF THIS GYM.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: Get that away, man.
BOSS OF THIS GYM pushes VAN DARKHOLME.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: Let's go, why don't you get out of that leather stuff and I'll strip out of this and we'll settle it right here on the ring. What do you say?
BOSS OF THIS GYM slaps VAN DARKHOLME on the arm.
VAN DARKHOLME: Yeah, no problem, buddy.
VAN DARKHOLME returns the favour by pushing BOSS OF THIS GYM back.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: You got it, get out of that uhh- jabroni outfit.
VAN DARKHOLME: Yeah, smartass.
BOSS OF THIS GYM takes off his shirt.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: I'll show you who's boss of this gym.

END OF ACT I, PART ♂

ACT I, PART ♂♂

VAN DARKHOLME finishes disrobing and BOSS OF THIS GYM has removed his gym outfit. VAN DARKHOLME closes the locker and BOSS OF THIS GYM follows suit, pounding his fists on the locker while doing so.

BOSS OF THIS GYM: Come on, let's go!
VAN DARKHOLME: Yeah..
BOSS OF THIS GYM locks hands with VAN DARKHOLME as they start to push their body weight onto eachother in an attempt to make the other fall over.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: Huh leather boy! Come on leather boy, let's see what you got.
VAN DARKHOLME dodges BOSS OF THIS GYM's grapple.
BOSS OF THIS GYM: (pant, grunt) --you're pretty quick.
VAN DARKHOLME: (panting) yeah.

BOSS OF THIS GYM overpowers VAN DARKHOLME with a strong grab and then plants him on the ground, he locks his thighs around VAN DARKHOLME's chest in an attempt to make him give in.

BOSS OF THIS GYM: (panting) Why don't you give up now! (grunt) --gonna take me..
VAN DARKHOLME: (moaning) Ah! Oh man!

Sounds of battle echo across the locker room as VAN DARKHOLME and BOSS OF THIS GYM clash against eachother.

Skipper: Mrs. Obama, I've done it. I've stopped racism.

Michelle Obama: Thank you Skipper, now I am free to roam this earth.

Donald Trump: Not if I have anything to say about it, and I do! I'm gonna say the n-word!

Skipper: Mrs. Obama, get down!

Donald Trump: ♥♥♥♥♥.

the white house abruptly exploding

Skipper: Mrs. Obama, where are you? Are you okay?

Donald Trump: She is no longer with us, Skipper. And with her death, I am finally free to say the n-word whenever I want.

Martin Luther King Jr.: Not if I have anything to say about it, Trump, and I do. Prepare for my civil rights beam.

Martin Luther King Jr. uses his civil rights beam and music starts playing as Donald Trump is screaming in agony

Donald Trump: Skipper, my son, you wouldn't let me die, would you?

Skipper: Shut up, cracker.

Donald Trump screaming and dissolving into dust

Skipper: Hey Kowalski, who's that guy in front of us rising out of the water?

Barack Obama: It is I, Barack Obama.

Kowalski: Mr. Obama? What are you doing here?

Barack Obama: I have come to exempt my revenge on you penguins for allowing my wife to die at the hands of Donald Trump.

Kowalski: But Mr. Obama, we did everything we could.

Barack Obama: I've already made up my mind.

Skipper: Mr. Obama, don't do it. This won't bring Michelle back.

Barack Obama: ♥♥♥♥♥.

the penguins' airship explodes and the penguins scream for the help of god

Skipper: Skipper's log, number 32: Barack Obama has struck us out of the sky by saying the n-word.

Kowalski: It just doesn't make sense skipper, Obama would never say the n-word.

Skipper: I don't understand it either Kowalski, but some things you just gotta live with. Unless, Donald Trump, I should've known it was you.

Donald Trump inside of Barack Obama: Skipper, my son, I see you've discovered my master plan. Now that I have taken over Obama's body, I have free reign to say the n-word whenever and however I please.

Skipper: So what you're saying is that you're inside of another man?

Donald Trump inside of Barack Obama: Why yes, I suppose you could say that.

Skipper: But Mr. Trump, wouldn't that make you gay?

Donald Trump inside of Barack Obama: No, this can't be!

Donald Trump's screams of anguish becoming more and more distant

Skipper: Well boys, we did it. Racism is no more.

Barack Obama: Hello Skipper.

Skipper: Mr. Obama, what are you doing here?

Barack Obama: I came to thank you for your great service to this country.

Skipper: No thanks neccesary Mr. Obama.

Barack Obama: As a token of my gratitude, I'd like to give you the n-word pass.

Skipper: Mr. Obama, it is an honor to call you my ♥♥♥♥♥.

Barack Obama: And as to you, old friend.