MjrKuffenbach's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 5:13pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 9:33am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 9:58am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 1:44pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 5:47pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 1:29am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 6:20pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 2:19pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jul 27, 2015 @ 2:43pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jul 27, 2015 @ 4:38pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2015 @ 6:59am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 2:54am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 4:20pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 1:57am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Jul 25, 2015 @ 8:02pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 4:26pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 4:26pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 3:13am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 5:55pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 12:48pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jul 25, 2015 @ 8:34pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 3:49am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 3:12pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 3:45pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 4:48pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2015 @ 7:05am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 3:52am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 10:00am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 4:34pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 4:50pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Jul 28, 2015 @ 6:25am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 4:37pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 2:33pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 4:59pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 6:33pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 2:27pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 4:51pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jul 27, 2015 @ 2:13pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 12:54pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Apr 3, 2015 @ 6:26pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 2:59pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 2:33pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Apr 5, 2015 @ 2:07pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Jul 25, 2015 @ 8:50pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Jul 27, 2015 @ 2:06pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 5:22am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 5:12am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked Jul 27, 2015 @ 3:38pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 6:15am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Apr 4, 2015 @ 6:38pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jul 29, 2015 @ 2:56am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2016 @ 3:29pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2016 @ 5:15pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 2:28pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30