Stats:
Rank: Master of the Master Sergeants, Extra Awesome Super Shooter Person.
HP: 1
Damage: I will ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ murder you.
Special Abilities:
-Extreme Role-Playing Skills: Can make a hilarious or depressing story out of anything.*
-The 'XD': Rarely, can use a special emoticon that inflicts Laughter to everyone nearby for 0.1 seconds.
-Anger Issues: If a Stupidity is performed, has a chance to gain the Frustrated status effect.
Weaknesses:
-Politics
-Logic
-Huge projects
-Boredom

Bio
After dealing a decisive blow to Illuminati, saving Obama from 3 skyscaper-sized bears with nothing but a pistol that fires bullet shells and jumping off the magical beanstalk, he decided to sit down and play video games.
That's it, really.

* = May depend.