Spoopy Soviet story time:
Once there was a small boy who went to school to become proud Russian Communist. He found picture of pretty American girl with smile and two fingers into peace sign. He takes photo around and no one is knowing her. One night he hears tapping on window. He looks outside and it is the girl. "♥♥♥♥ you American!" he screams, and throws potatoes at her.
She keeps this up for several nights until boy is out of potatoes. He leaves house to kill girl but is hit by car instead. Driver gets out and takes the boy's photo. Girl is now holding a potato and has 3 fingers raised with a smile.

Parents use care taker to protect weak children. Caretaker calls parents later, asking permission to cover frightening statue of clown. Parents say "Foolish caretaker, we have no statue."
Children and caretaker found dead. Parents rejoice. Fightened children and weak caretaker not true Soviets.

Russian man is at work alone. Copy machine begins making copies. Man did not make copies. He goes to look. Copies show him dead at desk.

He curses bad capitalist machines. Shoots copier, and begins making all copies by hand.

Soviet peasant filled with burning desire to read for glory of Soviet Russia. One day peasant go to Soviet bookstore, and sees book with skull on cover.

He asks owner how much is book, and owner responds 80 rubles. However, owner tell peasant never read last page, or else doom shall fall upon him!

Peasant reads all book in one night, is dark book of capitalism about by evil man, John Deere, talking of automated machinery and air conditioned tractors, many horrors in book indeed!

Yet peasant does not read last page, for he has fear in his heart! One night it storms however, and the man is bored. He finally gathers up enough Soviet courage to read last page, dispelling superstition, for he has faith in the Party.

As soon as he reads last page, man gasps! Book originally 20 rubles! The owner was Jew!

You are having nightmare about burning. You wake up and have breakfast. At breakfast you read Pravda. News section is saying you are dying one day ago in chemical fire. Such is life in Moscow.

Is said that some victims of ♥♥♥♥♥ curse, during the act, retreat into sissy fantasy world from which they not WAKE UP. In catatonic state, victim lives in silly world where Motherland is not supreme. The only way good proletariat knows to WAKE UP is to find note in fantasy. Note says,"WAKE UP. BEET FIELD NEEDS TENDING." Even then, they are to be executed for capitalist dream.

I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Kiev. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want a room. She tells me room number and give key. "But one more thing comrade; there is one room without number and always lock. Don't even peek in there." I take key and go to room to sleep. Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red. Water still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. "By the way who is in that room?" She look at me and begin to tell story. There was woman in there. Murdered by her husband. Skin all white, except her eyes, which were red. I tell her I don't give a ♥♥♥♥. Stop the water trickling or give me refund. She gave me 100 ruble credit and free breakfast. Such is life in Moscow

I no make these
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