So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just ♥♥♥ over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions “Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ Jelly.” Scientists were like “♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science.” So the scientists collected a sample of said Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ Jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate’s ♥♥♥♥, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I want to like in a world where this is a commercial product. I want I to say “you know what, I want to die and I know what to do about it.” I want to live in a world where I can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of “Smucker’s Dolphin ♥♥♥♥♥ Jelly,” and just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ myself to death.

chef

…\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::„-'„
….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . „„-~~~~-„„ . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
…...-| . „„-~~~~-„ . . . . „-*„-^*''o¯¯'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
…...'\| .*^^*'''¯o¯'''*-„ . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-„ '|
….....| . *^~~-~^*'' .| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .| ./-~./
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……...| . . . . . . .„- ' . . . .*^„ . . . . . . . . . . '|*^* I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC
………*-„ . . . . . \„-„„_„„-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| Why don't you have a seat over there
…………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
………….'\ . . . „„_„„-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .
…………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ .
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chef

Sup

Super awesome and cute Catty