"i need to get people to believe the 2 dollar bill is worth 2 billion dollars because i have 6 of them"

"I have no ass and yet I must ꜱʜɪᴛ"

"I'm gonna become a cannibal and eat the pope
HHUUUUEUUUUEUUUEUE"

"I'm gonna name a band Sugar Daddy for Jesus."

"Not right now dad, I'm making art."
Are you drawing those anime titties again son?"

"The air was different in the 80's."

"The only way to do a thing is to do it."

"Cement, das conk creet baybe."

"I'm sickened, yet curious."

"The bible doesn't say ꜱʜɪᴛ about not committing tax fraud."

"It's currently half-past I don't give a ｆｕｃｋ."

"jp-8 enema is my band name, check out my album master caution reset"

"Im intelligent not wise, i couldnt pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel"

"i didnt fight in (rising storm 2) vietnam for this"

"i accidentally shifted into 3rd instead of 1st and stalled in front of the cute gate guard, therefore i will be taking my own life shortly"