Homeless Mall Santa's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 3:30pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 8:45pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 9:05pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 5:55pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 4:10pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 6:46pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 9:09pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 12:37am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Mar 20, 2017 @ 12:57am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Apr 25, 2017 @ 2:39pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 9:02pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jun 5, 2023 @ 5:48am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 11:35pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jun 9, 2023 @ 4:15am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 3:35pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 10:12pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jun 5, 2023 @ 7:28am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jun 5, 2023 @ 4:43am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 9:05pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Apr 18, 2017 @ 11:23pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Mar 19, 2017 @ 10:16pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 5:45pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Mar 18, 2017 @ 3:25pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Apr 25, 2017 @ 2:39pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jun 5, 2023 @ 5:34am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jun 5, 2023 @ 5:09am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

12 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

0 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

0 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

4 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30