Recent reviews by Jelly_YT

*This review is based entirely on my own personal expierence with the game.*

This is an unplayable pile of trash and easily the worst game I've played in years. Firstly the game runs like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, to the point where it's practically unplayable maxing out at just over 30 frames. Upon trying to enter a server I was kicked for no apparent reason. This happened on several attempts at joining servers. The graphics are Lindsay Lohan level miserable.

The premise of the game is nothing original and has become over saturated in the gaming industry since the success of Minecraft and DayZ. And this game fails to do any one particular thing better than either of those games. The gameplay is boring and tedious and just a rehash of so many games currently on the market.

The settings menu provides a perfect example of how poor this game is. Under mouse sensitivity the options available are from 1-10, except there's no option to have your sensitivity set to 5, you have the options of 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9 or 10. HOW THE ♥♥♥♥ CAN YOU MISS THE NUMBER 5?

The game is clearly just a cash in on the recent success of games such as Minecraft and DayZ, making it another 1 in a million that fails to distinguish itself from the competitors. May I have a refund for this purchase GabeN?

When I was a small child growing up in the small country of the United States, I always dreamt of singing a duet with Kenny Loggins. I was known as a dungeon baby for three long years, practicing both my masturbatory skills and guitar playing. Needless to say, one day there was a man that met me down in the cellar. I introduced myself saying "Hi I'm Steven." In response he replied with "Randy, nice to meet you." This man had something strange about him. He had a sort of aura that you could just feel and an extremely large forehead. He also smelt like mayonniase. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a grand piano. He then proceded to play you've got a friend in me. "You're Bryan Cranston!" I shouted. "No, kido I'm Randy Newman," he responded. His words fell over me like a small child. I now knew who this strange man was. "You're PewDiePie!" The man sighed a deep breath and inhaled some cocaine throught his toes. He then began to play it's a jungle out there. And that kids is the story of how I met Kenny Loggins. Youtube.com/skydoesminecraft. Please subscribe. Also the game is kinda cool I guess.

Jonothathian buy this you flaming ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

As a great man once said, "Everytime I ♥♥♥, I produce a quartz." The same can not be said for this game, there was no quartz ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ involved and I was personally extremely saddened to see this game make that choice. What really sets this game back is the distinct lack and obvious work around the devs did when making this game. In the demo Elizabeth's tits were at least twice the size but in this game they're like half. They used to be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ watermelons and now they are merely saggy lemons, anybody would think she's just a typical lemon ♥♥♥♥♥, why would any sane person change that? THIS GAME DOESN'T EVEN HAVE BOOB PHYSICS! After touching myself furiously to the first few demos this game released it was clear that the full release game was not intended to be an extended means of masturbation, which as you can imagine sadened many a poor boy. After crying to my daddy on the telephone, "how long now?" I was stricken with the realization that perhaps I could still one rub one out to Elizabeth, even with the lack of breasts that she had once obtained. So I poured myself a glass of fruit loops and let my hand fall into my pants. Elizabeth did not get me going for a second, but there was a shiny knight waiting for me, his name is Booker and I'll tell you what, that man has a lovely jaw line. I have now racked up 320 hours of gameplay on this game and are still yet to finish.

Tits: 1/10
Booker's Calf definition: 10/10
Boob Physics: 0/10
Story: 2/10
Graphics: 1/10
Gameplay: 1/10

Overall: 10/10
Booker is a handsome man.

This game is about dogs that sleep, although at no point in the game do you see any dogs that are asleep. This takes away from the immersion and I personally believe makes it feel like a game rather than an expierence. This game could have been great but instead was a steaming pile of ♥♥♥♥. I despised it.

Graphics: 2/10
Gameplay: 3/10
Overall: 8/10 HORRIBLE GAME.