Recent reviews by thehelplesshero

So you get the game, you're like, huh, cars and a soccerball, that's interesting. Then you play a round against the bots, like wow, I could see this being fun with the bros. Next thing you know, you've sunk your life savings buying keys for fancy cosmetic items, wishing you were part of the Alpha test to get those GOLD ITEMS, but then No, it's not over. You see videos of pro players doing the most INSANE ♥♥♥♥ you've seen for this game. 360 no-scopes become a thing of the past, Freestyling double-touch dunk aerials are now the one thing you want to achieve in life.

Your family asks why you've gotten so skinny, your wallet asks why so empty, your soul asks why no one loves you, yet all that doesn't matter when you finally hear your teammate say, "WHAT A SAVE!" "WHAT A SAVE!" "WHAT A SAVE!" and you realize they were being sarcastic as you backflipped when you should've frontflipped and now that belt tied to the ceiling fan looks a lot better than simply replying "No Problem". BECAUSE IT IS A PROBLEM. YOU'RE THE PROBLEM.


10/10 would uninstall after nearly 2k hours because I'll never be pro, but I just want to do the Musty Flick + Doomsee Dish combo so I'll reinstall 10/10 times.

P.S. that belt still lookin good tho