tLR-'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 8:10pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 1:11pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 10:46am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 8:29pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 1:25pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked Oct 25, 2019 @ 12:35pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 9:45am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 10:44am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 2:01pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 3:34pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Oct 25, 2019 @ 11:45am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jun 15, 2015 @ 10:40am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jun 15, 2015 @ 12:36pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 6:43pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 9:16pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 7:30pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2019 @ 1:36pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2019 @ 2:11pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Oct 21, 2019 @ 11:57am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2019 @ 1:36pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Oct 21, 2019 @ 12:27pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 8:00pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 7:13pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 1:02pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jun 15, 2015 @ 11:51am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 8:22pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 8:43pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 7:41pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Jun 15, 2015 @ 11:53am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 8:08pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 7:03pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 2:58pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Oct 25, 2019 @ 12:34pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 9:26am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 7:05pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2019 @ 2:12pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 7:05pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2019 @ 1:00pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Oct 25, 2019 @ 12:39pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 8:31pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 7:17pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 10:12am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 9:47am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Oct 21, 2019 @ 11:02am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 1:09pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 1:05pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 9:25am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jun 14, 2015 @ 9:54am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Oct 21, 2019 @ 12:13pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 8:29pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 7:11pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Oct 21, 2019 @ 11:16am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 7:10pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 7:45pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 9:06pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked Oct 25, 2019 @ 10:25am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Oct 21, 2019 @ 10:50am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2019 @ 7:00pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked Oct 25, 2019 @ 11:17am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked Oct 22, 2019 @ 12:57pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jun 15, 2015 @ 12:37pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Feb 1, 2016 @ 9:57am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Oct 17, 2019 @ 8:58pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Oct 21, 2019 @ 9:45am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30