Muppet on and off the ice

Best pickup on Fantasy. Absolute beaut dropped me 20 points against Vancouver. Absolute beaut. How it this guy only 69% Roster Percentage?!?!?!?!?

Hey, uh goofgunk. Goof no space gunk on YouTube. Hank Schrader here. Told you that I would win the griddy competition. Ha ha, you just got Schraded. Also, L plus Ratio, plus you get no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Have fun swimmin’ around in Nikocado’s belly. I’m gonna play the copy of Black Adam on the DS that I won and you didn’t. I’m also going to griddy my way to Home Depot to get me a $19 Shartnite Card. Number One Victory Royale! See you later goofgunk, and make Opungus proud! Opungus bruh, Opungus!

This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed.

this guy is my dad