ReTired xPert ツ
John Doe   Germany
I used to play games, but the games are gone. Now i buy items.

You're buying keys with metal? Diagnosis: Ha ha, you're dumb. Want a second opinion? You also have no life!
Currently Offline
The Truth
The Past:
No one is playing Left 4 Dead? No items in there as well? Add Left 4 Dead to TF2 and add items!

The Present:
No one likes playing CS:GO? Only irish kids play it? Add CS:GO item system to TF2!

The Future:
No one remembers Half-Life 2: EP 3? Add Half-Life 2: EP 3 to TF2! And don't forget to add items!

Can't fix the infinite refund bug? Turn it into a feature!

The Tacobot Reich / The Pizza Bakery
The Tacobot Reich

After beeing away from TF2 for about 4 years it got me again and i decided to rank up some more MvM tours. At first it looked like nothing has changed, except there is this "new thing" called gas passer. But then i discovered that a new Führer has emerged to bring back order to MvM. Sadly he established his Reich only in paid Boot Camp mode, also known as Advanced. Luckily, after some Expert tours, i got this gas passer, so i wanted to try it out. To not disturb my Expert friends i decided to join Two Cities, these missions can be easily played with 5 people so i won't do any harm when i try out that new thing there and badly fail. This was the first time i encountered the Tacobot Reich, it must have been by the end of 2019 or the beginning of 2020, i was warmly welcomed and immediately entered their Hall of Fame, also known as Kicklist. After doing my tests i returned to Expert and it should take over half a year to get in touch with them again.

Now, in Summer 2020, my OCD suggested to rank up my Mecha tours, so i entered the Tacobot Reich again. For those who are not familiar, a short introduction. In Tacobot the legislative, judiciary and executive are united. If you don't follow their law you will be immediately judged and executed. They have only two penalties, either you get kicked, immediately or on last wave, or they call in their diligent minion, the Retry Bot. This minion will always reconnect when the mission is about to start to cancel the timer. He will avoid any vote kick and will always come back until he is alone in the server. But Tacobot does not only give you laws, to enjoy your stay, they also give you Achievements, called Tags.

Beeing a serious TF2 collector and a passionate MvM player i have to unlock all these Tacobot Achievements. Here i will list my current progress along with the congratulations from the humble Tacobot authority with my added comments (sadly they don't allow comments in their realm).

Sometimes christmas miracles do happen, the Real Führer is beginning to take back control and disabled the retry spamming, i am looking forward how this battle will turn out.

Achievement (unlocked):
ape (~2019/2020)
gas (~2019/2020)
idle (2020-08-08)
pyro (2020-08-08)
retry (2020-08-08)

(Anonymous user - ~2019/2020)
Tour 200+ on 2C (It is 222 tours, i have this wonderful number for so many years now, i have to insist that you are precise about that) that joins last wave EE, insta switches to gas pyro (Well, thats the reason why i joined) , and prefers to be kicked on last wave than switch (Sorry, but in general i simply ignore advice and especially orders from random low tours) .

(Herald11 | - 2020-08-08)
Old (I guess for you everyone with a 2 digit age is old) expert player branching out to mecha just to be kicked (Actually my OCD said i need 111 tours) . Joins our game and instantly starts crying about Tacobot (I just said hello to my beloved Tacobot friends and how much i enjoy to meet them) and tries retrying (For scientific purpose i did it once to determine if it affects the protection cooldown, it does not) . Too bad we got friend in server less than 10mins :D (But of course not before you kicked that innocent player. Oh wait, he was guilty, he dared to ask why you try to kick me.) . Overall this dudes skill to tour ratio is WAY off (I am playing MvM since day one, this was long before you have been born, and have replayed countless times. Sorry that i don't low perform like the average 600' tourer.) . Most likely a party abuser (I almost always solo queue, i carried endless noobs through the missions. This is more challenging and enjoyable than F4 rushing everything.) .

(Anonymous user - 2020-08-08)
33t mecha engine (Kudos for getting the tour number right) , broken parts. Idle (I actually just didn't F4 so you have more time to get more friends ready to get kick majority, it was you who just stood in spawn and did nothing when the wave started) retry-spammer (One time is spam?) and taco hater (All my love, all for you, all at once!) who sniped a wave 4 (I just ticked that "Join game in progress" checkbox, but that just doesn't sound so awesome) and autolocks gas pyro (I was joined in a wave in progress, of course i always check the composition first and saw my Tacobot friends there. Because they love pyro so much and none was on the team i did them the favor. In one of my previous games i wanted to show some noobs how broken and overpowered gas passer is (did not really work, they were totally impressed how i one-manned the mission) so i had it equipped. I guess it is new to him that you can't change your loadout when the wave is in progress.) . After being kicked came back as soldier and proceed to pop uber meds on wave 5 (It was not me who popped the medics but the HW. Who are you anyway? That minion Engy who served the M1 Sniper the dispenser and then danced on the rock in the back the whole mission? Hard to see from back there what happens at the gate.) . Kept retrying and rejoining server a few times (Gaben showed his love and put me back into the game for almost half an hour <3) at wave 6 but got replaced. Kick/retry on sight.

The Pizza Bakery

The year 2022 is a great year for MvM. If you have been tired of Tacos all the time, you can finally pick your favorite pizza of the Pizza Bakery. However, i highly suggest you use their delivery service, their restaurant is full of toxic gas.

I am very proud that i am the first customer of their VIP service (2022-02-03). Even more i am grateful that they offer free VIP membership for everyone on my friends list. Sadly, this great service is not available to everyone. If you are a user of game altering tools, commonly referred to as cheats, access to the VIP service is denied.

In contrast to the Tacobot Reich, they don't offer such a rich portfolio of services yet. Currently, you can only subscribe to permanent spectators, but i am confident they will increase their service level in the future.
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Market Transactions
Baobab Dec 31, 2023 @ 12:41pm 
Happy New Year. :winter2019happyyul:
Baobab Dec 24, 2023 @ 1:58pm 
:LilyHappy: Merry Christmas.
Baobab Jan 1, 2023 @ 10:42am 
Happy New Year. :happy_yeti:
Baobab Dec 25, 2022 @ 11:07am 
:LilyHappy: Merry Smissmas.
Baobab Dec 31, 2021 @ 9:32pm 
Happy New Year. :happy_yeti:
Baobab Dec 25, 2021 @ 5:56am 
:LilyHappy: Merry Smissmas.