Best movie quote: "Mess with the best, die like the rest."
CSGO

I personally use NodeJS™ because type systems encumber my productivity. I'm a developer, I just want to build! Why should I have to think about whether my variable is an integer? A string? Or a boolean? After all, they're all just bits at the end of the day (I know a lot about bits and bytes because my uncle is a Stanford computer science professor BTW. I just learned about this cool thing called "unsigned" numbers and I might try using them in my next microservice.)

What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you pathetic 1Xer? I'll have you know I got offered VC funding before anyone else in my hackathon, and I've been involved in numerous kernel contributor flamewars, and I have over 300 confirmed commits. You are nothing to me but just another Java programmer. I will acquihire your company and fire you with the speed of an 18000-class-Objective-C app, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the usergroup forum? Think again, code monkey. As we speak I am contacting my secret collective of FSF freedom fighters and your proprietary, bug-ridden ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is being hacked right now so you better prepare for the storm, pleb. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your github repository. You're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ out of a job, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can buffer overflow your software with over seven hundred 0-days, and that's just with my vanilla emacs install. Not only am I extensively trained in webscale deployments, but I have access to the entire source code of MongoDB and I will use it to its full potential to erase your linked in profile off the face of the internet, you little script kiddie. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon your Docker installation, maybe you would have held your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ enterprise programmer.

Learning asm is honestly an enlightening experience. It’s truly like the planets align and you can physically see your data structures and abstractions in an entire new light. Fractals of complexity fade away and you can see the ultimate truths of the code that were once obscure. I would even say that you can’t even claim to be a programmer if you haven’t worked on a pure assembly project for at least 6 months.