QuarantineTarantula's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 9:39am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 9:57am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jan 22, 2015 @ 9:43am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 7:52am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 9:38am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jan 22, 2015 @ 9:40am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 2:26am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 3:49am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 2:11am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 5:01am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2015 @ 1:53am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jan 27, 2015 @ 7:13am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 3:56am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 2:56am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 2:45am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2015 @ 2:39am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 3:19am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Mar 1, 2015 @ 11:19pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 7:11am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 2:38am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 1:40am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 4:15am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 7:41am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 9:47am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 4:32am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 2:58am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 7:12am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 1:16am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked Jun 21, 2016 @ 4:17am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked Jun 20, 2016 @ 2:24am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked Jul 9, 2019 @ 9:30am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2015 @ 12:13am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Jan 22, 2015 @ 9:43am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 2:10am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 10:02am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 2:53am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2015 @ 1:03am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 7:43am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 4:31am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 9:37am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jan 22, 2015 @ 9:45am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 6:58am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 9:35am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2015 @ 10:04am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 12:24am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jan 22, 2015 @ 9:51am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Jan 24, 2015 @ 3:24am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 3:20am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Feb 20, 2015 @ 6:25am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Jan 26, 2015 @ 1:46am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Jan 23, 2015 @ 6:44am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Jan 22, 2015 @ 9:50am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Jan 27, 2015 @ 8:03am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2015 @ 3:50am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Jan 22, 2015 @ 9:57am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jan 27, 2015 @ 7:14am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Jun 23, 2015 @ 9:44am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Aug 30, 2016 @ 10:23am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 2:26am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked Jan 6, 2020 @ 12:06pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked Jan 10, 2020 @ 2:07pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked Aug 30, 2016 @ 11:15am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked Jan 8, 2020 @ 6:01am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked Jan 7, 2020 @ 7:30am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Jul 8, 2019 @ 3:53am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

27 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

19 / 30

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

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