So yesterday after I woke up I headed to the kitchen and you won't believe what happened after that. THIS. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. WOMAN. IN THE KITCHEN STARTED TALKING TO ME!! I kid you not. She had the audacity to utter words IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND! Absolutely disgusting and shameless. But that isn't even the end of it. Soon after she raised her head and LOOKED ME IN THE EYES. Can you believe this? This ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ woman made eye contact with me. I was absolutely furious. I started screaming on the top of my lungs, trying to establish dominance in front of my woman. I know that as soon as something like this happens, you need to correct her behaviour immediately. So I took my baton and clubbed her 27 times.

I am still very angry because I could've spent all this wasted time with my other 2 wives.

Anyways, AITA?

I’d rather game with a girl any day. 40% of male gamers are tryhard mediocre players that talk ♥♥♥♥ about everyone and everything but have no skillz. You can spot them within a minute of chat or 30 secs of play. If you ever play a quick queue you’ll almost always be get one of these loner losers. Toxic and can’t play. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ about k/d and ♥♥♥♥. OTOH, if I ever get queue up with a girl I always try to get her to group, it almost always brings everyone’s game up a notch. They’re team players. The best part is shutting down anyone who gets toxic with racist or sexist ♥♥♥♥. Cap the video and report. They’re shut down. I actually enjoy baiting these toxic ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and have them permabanned.

I found some condoms in my parents room and I wanted a no mess fap so I kinda went for it. I was really in the moment when I heard my mom's car pull up. So I just tried to finish as fast as possible. I finished in the condom, it was pretty great, but before I could get rid of it my mom knocked on the door, which scared the ♥♥♥♥ out of me because I thought she somehow knew about, so I panicked and threw it in her gym bag and quickly opened the door to her. a few hours later I heard my mom sobbing and screaming at my dad over the phone, and me and my brother have to stay at my aunts house now. She thinks my dad is cheating or something and I fear that they may be getting a divorce or something. The whole thing is so messed up and it kinda turns me on, but that's probably just the condoms I used lol. What should I do? I'm so scared and embarrassed at the same time.

Hiding my industrial strength fleshlight under my bed right before my girlfriend walks into the room like those movies where the kids destroy the entire house and have to engage in a hilarious sequence of cleaning and tomfoolery to repair and clean the house and sit down on the living room couch acting like nothing unsual happened exactly three seconds before their mom gets home from her business trip

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░░███░▌▄█▌░░▀░░▀██░░▀██████▌You've been visited by loli-sama!
░░░▀█▌▀██▀░▄░░░░░░░░░███▐███ Send this dank meme to atleast 83 weeaboos,
░░░░██▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐███████▌or you will never get a real 2D girlfriend.
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+rep. This player is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kills