phone's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Oct 15, 2018 @ 2:38pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked May 16, 2018 @ 4:41am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 7:18am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 8:59am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked May 15, 2018 @ 4:12am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked May 15, 2018 @ 4:14am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 9:22am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 10:12am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2018 @ 5:55am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2018 @ 6:46am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2018 @ 7:31am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Oct 24, 2018 @ 4:20am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Oct 18, 2018 @ 2:59pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2018 @ 9:00am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2018 @ 8:03am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2018 @ 6:14am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 11:44am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 1:38pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 10:09am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 1:37pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 9:53am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 1:41pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 9:19am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 7:58am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 11:48am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 1:13pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 9:41am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Oct 22, 2018 @ 4:06am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 12:32pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 8:11am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 7:18am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Oct 21, 2018 @ 10:07am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 7:17am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 1:07pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 1:47pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 9:09am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked May 15, 2018 @ 4:13am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked May 16, 2018 @ 4:31am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 9:27am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked May 16, 2018 @ 4:35am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 8:33am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Oct 15, 2018 @ 2:49pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 9:03am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 9:57am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 9:07am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 11:35am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 3:18pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Mar 29, 2019 @ 10:16am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 8:58am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 7:08am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Oct 24, 2018 @ 4:22am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 11:32am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 12:38pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 2:36pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 11:11am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 12:59pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 11:25am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 2:25pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked Oct 19, 2018 @ 12:46pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked Oct 18, 2018 @ 3:51pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Oct 16, 2018 @ 3:16pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

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