Recent reviews by Mark Fuckerberg

What if I told you,,, that the first ever Elder Scrolls game... was also the worst one?

Because it is.

I already finished the MQ on GOG and there's no way I'm doing that again, at least not for fun.

Pros:
- It's the first Elder Scrolls game, so that's cool
- It's very clear how ambitious Bethesda was when making this, and it was likely groundbreaking in its time
- You can explore the entire Tamriel map! There are many place names you'll recognize, though they will be otherwise completely different from how they appear in later games
- Magic is more broken than in any other ES game. Pick the Sorcerer class and get the shield spell to become god

Cons:
- So many
- The. Controls. Are. Awful! And they can't be changed! I mean, sure, you CAN download a mod from the nexus which kind-of fixes them, but they still suck. Worse, using the a & d keys to turn will really destroy your hand after a while
- Like looking up and down? Well, ♥♥♥♥ sucks for you bud because Arena's player character has a thicker neck than the doom guy
- The cherry on top? The main quest, or any quest, isn't even that rewarding. The MQ consists of traveling to each province to get a piece of the MacGuffin, which actually boils down to one minor dungeon and one major dungeon. It's boring and repetitive, although the major dungeons can be interesting for their significance in the lore
- Without spoiling it, the ending is a bit anti-climatic. It also does the classic elder scrolls thing of "now go back out there and finish those sidequests!" except all the sidequests are randomly generated and feel pointless

I would not recommend Arena. This is a game you do not play for fun, because quite frankly, it isn't fun. Even Daggerfall is fun. Even Battlespire has a good ending. Even Redguard has a good story. Arena is none of those things.

I only played this game to get insight into the Elder Scrolls series, and it is interesting in that respect, but it has aged so poorly I am shocked anyone would desire to torture themselves with this experience regularly. It's just not worth it.

They finally add this to steam after I've already finished it. Don't let my low play time fool you, I've played this one from start to finish.
You're still probably better off with the GOG Galaxy version though. If you want to play it on steam, get it there and copy over the DOSBox settings.

Pros:
- Easily the best/most engaging story of any elder scrolls game. The only elder scrolls game with significant mystery/political intrigue, not to mention multiple endings
- The controls can be configured to feel familiar to players of later games
- It's free
- Fans of later games can gain insight into the games they already know by
- (consequence of a con) the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ navigation in this game actually taught me a lot about navigating using cardinal directions (east, west, north, south), which was useful for the even more tedious Arena, if nothing else

Cons:
- It's old. So OLD. If you don't have the patience to dwadle though ancient CRPG mechanics then don't bother
- There's no autorun and cities are massive, meaning you're going to have to do a lot of holding w (or whatever binding you set)
- Finding your way around can be confusing. Fortunately there are walkthroughs for the main quest, but not for the RNG sidequests, and not for general navigation. You have to ask the RNG NPCs for directions, who will usually just give you a direction but can mark locations on your map if you pester them enough
-I can't stress enough how off-putting the old CRPG stuff can be, this is something that is constant and, if it bothers you, you will not have a good time

I still prefer this version over the unity one because of the obscenely broken exploits this version has, which to me are part of the fun. Then again, the unity port is likely more accessible.

Overall I enjoyed my time with it, but I wouldn't blame you if you gave up before leaving the first dungeon. That's what happened to me the first time I played this, years before I came back and gave it the attention it deserved.

I'm not saying I didn't like it, just that I wouldn't recommend it to someone whose never played an old CRPG before.

Morrowind has a lot to like, but it's also got more ♥♥♥♥ you have to put up with then any main ES game except Arena. The first thing you'll notice when you boot up Morrowind for the first time is that YOU MOVE LIKE A SNAIL ON POT. Not only are you the slowest of any Elder Scrolls game, this game also has significantly more walking than any of the newer games. Morrowind is the only numbered elder scrolls game to lack map-based fast travel, instead relying on an unintuitive system of boats, giant walking bugs and Mages Guild teleports, and after a while it'll make you feel like a f***ing commuter at Penn Station. Now, you CAN get some boots pretty early on if you know where to go that'll make you move at a more reasonable pace. The catch? Those boots also make you BLIND! Take that, slowpoke! If you know what you're doing you could counteract the blindness, but that's probably an unreasonable ask for someone unfamiliar.

Walking isn't the only thing holding this game back mind you, but it's the most Immediately apparent. Again, people like this game for valid reasons, and I didn't hate my time with it. However, after giving it a go myself it has become painfully apparent people who fangirl this game do so with Ray-Charles-level nostalgia glasses.

The hands-down best Fallout game ever made. I could recomend this game 'till it kills me and still not feel like I've not done this game justice. Buy it. Buy it right now. Better yet, buy the Ultimate Edition so you dont end up wasting money like I did. BUY IT! BUY IT! BUY IT! Stop reading this comment and buy the game. You won't regret it.