Think about it...

It’s not possible for Wolverine to get circumcised.
As Andy grew older, all of his toys had to sit motionless and watch him masturbate.
Deaf people probably don’t understand why farts are funny.
Why do we eat pizza from the inside out?
When jogging, we put on special clothes so people don't think we are running from or to something.
We're closer to 2030 than we are to 2005...
If you live to be 70 years old you will spend TEN YEARS of your life on Monday.
Sometime in the future, someone will say your name for the last time.
How do vampires always look so neat and tidy if they can’t see themselves in the mirror?
What does my mirror look like when I'm not looking at it?
Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep.
Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.
Morgan Freeman's voice sounds even better in his own head.
The only part of your reflection you can lick is your tongue.
Drinking water with a minty mouth is the cold version of spicy.
special occasions, girls with curly hair straighten it and girls with straight hair curl it.
There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever.
Dragons would think it's cool that we create water in our mouths.
When medication says 'do not operate heavy machinery,' they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to a forklift. why?
If you drew a ♥♥♥♥ on a vampire's face while they were sleeping, they'd never find out about it.
Water is a beverage whose flavor is its temperature.
The brain not only named itself, but it also recognized that it named itself and was surprised when it realized that.
If your identical twin got plastic surgery, it would be hard not to feel a little insulted.
We use tables to keep food off the floor, tablecloths to keep food off the table, placemats to keep food off the tablecloth, and plates to keep food off the placemats.
every mirror you buy at a store is in used condition.
It's always easy to fall asleep on a couch unless you're actually trying to fall asleep on a couch.
Whenever you buy and eat half a chicken, you are secretly sharing a meal with a stranger.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Your belly button is just your old mouth.
Does Sonic last long in bed?