dipski's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jan 21, 2017 @ 7:54pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2017 @ 12:01pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 9:16pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Mar 16 @ 1:00pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2017 @ 11:58am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2017 @ 11:29am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 9:27pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 10:37pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 1:31pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 2:28pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 3:18pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 4:56pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 1:49pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Feb 12 @ 3:42pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked Feb 12 @ 3:21pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Feb 12 @ 2:28pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 10:29pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 3:29pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Feb 11 @ 6:29pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Feb 11 @ 12:21pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 1:58pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 2:58pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 1:42pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 4:59pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked Feb 17 @ 3:22pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Feb 11 @ 12:21pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 10:50pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 9:45pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 2:57pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 7:03pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2017 @ 11:40am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Sep 19, 2017 @ 3:28pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 7:38pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Sep 30, 2017 @ 11:57am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 7:54pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 1:23pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Feb 11 @ 6:11pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 7:25pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Jul 23, 2023 @ 7:14pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 4:59pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Jul 24, 2023 @ 10:45pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked Feb 17 @ 3:27pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

14 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

11 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30