I arrived at the Hello Games office in the early evening, as the sun was approaching the horizon. Taking a deep breath, I nervously pressed the doorbell. As a reporter for the local university's newspaper, it was very generous of the No Man's Sky team to allow me the opportunity to come visit them during such a busy period. They were working passionately to finish the game.

The door opened and Sean poked his expressive face out to greet me!

"Hey you!" he exclaimed in his adorable British-Australian accent. "I'm so happy you could make it to spend the evening with us."

"I was so happy when I heard you agreed to let me come in for the interview," I said.

"Oh yeah. The interview. I forgot," he replied with his usual brilliant humor.

I laughed. "You're so funny, Sean."

"I wasn't joking," he said, chuckling nervously. Classic Sean.

Sean showed me around and introduced me to the whole Hello Games team. They were very friendly and perky, and sat before their computers with excellent posture. Each one explained in detail what their job was at Hello Games. I took detailed notes. I wrote my notes on my notepad. I noticed some of the employees yawning, they had clearly worked a long day. They were pulling an all-nighter to prepare for the next week's big E3 presentation. They would need something invigorating to keep them awake. Perhaps some coffee or caffeinated tea.

"Let me show you my office. I have a surprise to show you," Sean said.

He led me to the room and we sat down on a soft, vinyl couch. "So, let me show you the surprise," he said softly. "It's the newest build of the game. We just added some new features."

He booted up the game on a PS4 in his office. I stared at his face.

I like your beard, it's sexy, I pretended to say to him in my head to myself. I had a secret crush on him. There was something about his humble demeanor and feeble yet handsome bone structure that was so alluring.

"So here's the game!" he said, eagerly. It opened on an alien world, just calling out to be explored. I began to sweat. Here it finally was, in front of me in all it's glory. And it was being played by Sean, in front of me in all his glory.

After about fifteen minutes of Sean speaking excitedly, showing me many of the features, I nervously spoke.

"Could I try playing?" I asked.

"Oh. I suppose, of course," he said, chuckling.

But another few minutes past without him handing me the controls.

"Sean," I said, more confidently. I put my hands on his hands as he gripped the controller. He looked me straight in the eyes. I stared deep into his beautiful, glistening eyes, utterly transfixed.

"Sure," he said. He let go of the Playstation controller, still sweaty from his firm grip. "But I have another surprise to show you."

He stood up.

"My ♥♥♥♥," he muttered. On stage at a video game conference he was nervous. But here, he was confident as ever. He gently slid his hand past his belly button (an "innie"), across his lightly hairy navel, and pulled out a raging hard boner.

"Yes, please," I said, blushing as red as the treetops of Oria V.

He grabbed my shoulders, guiding me confidently towards the coffee table like he confidently guides the Hello Games team toward the game's release.

The one, true Sean Murray (not that baby-faced loser ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ poser from NCIS) made sweet, sweet love to me from behind, doggystyle, while I balanced on the coffee table. As he pushed his gorgeous penis deep inside of me, I picked up the controller and began to play the game. I wasn't sure what I was more excited about - finally ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Sean Murray, or finally playing No Man's Sky.

After exploring the planet surface, I entered my spaceship and took off. Just as I left the atmosphere and burst into the breathtaking expanse of space, a load of semen burst from the tip of Sean's ♥♥♥♥ inside of me. It was an out-of-this-world experience.

As I caught my breath, Sean said, "I have one more surprise for you."

What else could it possibly be? I thought to myself. He's already given me everything I ever wanted in life: A nearly infinite, gorgeously stylized space exploration game with open-ended gameplay, lush ecosystems and seamless surface-to-space transition; and sex with whoever created it. What else could he have to surprise me with? Does he have a second ♥♥♥♥?

The answer occurred to me just as he began to pull the surprise from a bag.

"Occulus Rift support" he uttered sensually, tossing me a virtual reality headset to put on. He put another on his perfect face.

Placing the Occulus Rift over my eyes, I appeared on the surface of a planet covered with lush, slightly phallic foliage and many exotic creatures. As I turned, I saw Sean's avatar standing before me in a beautiful, procedurally-generated spacesuit. As he took it off, I was shocked to find a life-like replica of Sean himself standing before me.

"Like what you see?" he said.

"It's bloody brilliant," I responded.

"It's time, everybody," he shouted.

I heard footsteps slowly enter the cramped office. Embarrassed at first, I soon realized what was happening. Hello Games isn't some lame, giant company that produces unoriginal AAA titles and leaves reporters with an intern in a closet to have sex with. No, Hello Games is a classy, creative company who cares about everyone who plays their games, and every employee was here to make sure I had a good time ...in Virtual Reality.

"Yes, please," I muttered excitedly.